Trump Tariffs Trigger Pfizer Frugality: No Time to Bleed Investment!

The Hunt Begins: Uncertainty Wounds U.S. Investment

Greetings pathetic humans! Your paltry news reaches even the stars. Seems this 'Pfizer' leader Bourla is bellyaching about Trump's tariff threats. Claims it's cramping his style for investing in this…'U.S.' I observe the mighty warrior reduced to a whimper. Is there no honor in this world? As I've told Dutch long ago 'If it bleeds we can kill it' if it's uncertain we can ignore it Bourla said but now all your investments will be put in ice. Hahaha... What a joke!

No Sport in This: The Tariff Trap

This Bourla creature says he'd pump credits into your R&D and factories if only Trump would promise no tariffs. He craves 'certainty.' Hah! Certainty is for the weak! Where's the thrill of the hunt in a predictable world? As your human poet said 'the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry'. And he expects Trump to be predictable?! Don't make me laugh or i'll get his skull for my collection.

One Ugly Mother... Of a Tax Situation!

He also whines about global minimum tax. Says the U.S. isn't as shiny as it used to be for investment. He wants more incentive... The spineless creature! Is there no challenge?! If it's too hard don't do it. That's my motto.

A Strong Incentive?!

Bourla blathers about Trump wanting to cut taxes for local goods. Says *that* would be a 'strong incentive.' Pathetic. A true hunter needs no incentive but the kill. The thrill of the chase you know? The heat of the fight not someone else's credit. Now you are just embarrassing yourselves.

If It Bleeds It Leads: Hidden Costs

Here's where it gets amusing. Pfizer claims these tariff worries *aren't* messing with their outlook. But then they admit they're already eating $150 million in costs from existing tariffs! Hypocrisy! Like the time that Dillon told Dutch he'd be 'right behind him' only to get blasted by my plasma caster. Never trust a human! I hope Trump will use my plasma caster to solve this situation.

The Final Verdict: This is Getting Old

So to recap: Pfizer wants Trump to stop waving tariffs around like a child with a stick. They want sweet deals and guaranteed returns. But they also say they are already paying for it. Such blatant whining deserves only one response: 'You are one ugly mother...' But I won't say it to his face... This is so boring it's time for me to go hunt in another planet.