One Second Before It's Due: Human Leaders Teeter on Brink of Nuclear Firefight, Yautja Watches with Interest

No Time For Games

Greetings primitive primates. The air is thick with fear isn't it? These… humans… they dance on the edge of a fiery pit waving their shiny toys and squawking about 'peace' while sharpening their knives. The 'White House,' as they call it is a hive of nervous energy. The orange skinned one Trump he considers direct strikes on Iran. Such aggression! Such potential for…sport. It reminds me of a particularly dense jungle on a world far far away. Good times. “If it bleeds we can kill it.” But will they bleed each other? That is the question.

A Terrible Spiral of Escalation

The bear like creatures in the Kremlin they growl about 'terrible spirals' and nuclear doom. Maria Zakharova says they're 'millimeters' from catastrophe. Millimeters! Ha! My wrist blades are sharper than that. And speaking of spirals those humans in the U.K. scurry like Xenomorphs when the acid hits the floor. Evacuating embassies… pathetic. They reiterate commitment to peace and stability? Their words mean nothing. The hunt is inevitable. There is no escaping it. The weak will fall. It is the Yautja way and it seems to be the human way as well.

I May Do It I May Not Do It

Trump ever the enigma mumbles about decisions made 'one second before it's due.' Clever. Deceptive. The next week is going to be big he says. Indeed. Big booms big fires and maybe just maybe a worthy trophy for this old hunter. 'Especially with war,' he adds. Finally some sense from this species. He reminds me of myself. Ruthless. Calculated. Deadly. Now we are on the same page!

Dirty Work? Sounds Like Fun!

Ah the Germans… ever the pragmatists. This Friedrich Merz speaks of Israel doing the 'dirty work.' Dirty work? That's the best kind! The kind that leaves behind charred bones and melted metal. He has respect for the Israeli army. Perhaps they are not as weak as I thought. But respect does not equal victory. Only strength does.

Diplomacy? More Like Diplo macybe I'll Get Some Action!

The Chinese Premier Xi Jinping bleats about ceasefires. Ceasefires are for the weak. Force is the only language these creatures understand. Putin and Xi allies of Iran condemn Israel. Alliances… such fragile things. Like a spine ripped from its body! They say military action won't resolve the issues. They are wrong! It resolves everything… eventually.

The Hunt Begins

The old man Khamenei threatens 'irreparable damage.' Empty words. The human's missile barrages traded overnight. Hospitals hit. Such carnage! Israel says Khamenei 'can no longer be allowed to exist.' Excellent! Let the hunt begin in earnest. I can almost taste the fear… and the glory. It’s time to hunt! This will be one beautiful mother…