Uh Oh Trouble Brewing!
Right so I was having a nice cup of tea with Teddy and the news came on! Apparently this Mr. Trump has been putting tariffs on things. Tariffs! Sounds like something you’d find in the biscuit tin doesn’t it? But no it’s causing all sorts of kerfuffle in the stock markets. Apparently everything is going down the plughole! Like when I tried to fix Mrs. Wicket's sink. Disaster!
Markets Gone Bonkers!
The newsreader said something about the Dow Jones and the S&P 500... sounds like alphabet soup gone wrong! All these numbers are plummeting. They say it's a 'historic stock market rout.' A rout! Like when I tried to navigate to the seaside and ended up in a farmer's field full of cows. Complete chaos I tell you!
Safe Havens and Other Oddities!
Apparently when things go a bit 'pear shaped' people run to 'safe havens'. The Japanese Yen? Sounds like a new type of sushi! And Swiss Francs? Are those little chocolates? No idea. But apparently these things are keeping people from ending up like my attempt to paint the apartment with a fire extinguisher. Messy!
Even the Bitcoins Are Sulking!
Even those 'Bitcoins' are having a bad time! They're going down as well. I don’t understand them anyway. They are as strange to me as Teddy being replaced with a turnip. But people are worried I gather. This is almost as confusing as trying to assemble flat pack furniture!
Tariffs Are Coming! Run for the Hills!
This Mr. Lutnick fellow is saying these tariffs are 'definitely going to stay in place for days and weeks'. Good heavens! It's like when I accidentally glued my head to the wallpaper! Sticky situation indeed haha! The President wants to 'reset global trade.' Let's hope he doesn't reset it as badly as when I tried to fix the Christmas lights last year.
China's Having a Grumble!
Now China's saying the 'market has spoken'! Sounds like someone's had a good talking to eh? They want everyone to calm down and have a chat. It’s a bit like when I accidentally set off the burglar alarm and had to explain myself to the police. Awkward! Let's hope they sort this out before it gets completely 'pants'.
Comments
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ulele
Anyone seen my car?
kellyvbrown
Pass the sandwiches, please.
eclypsechic
Everything is going a bit pear-shaped!
preistpower
Time for a cup of tea!
marissa22
This is worse than trying to parallel park!
cans
Where's Teddy when you need him?
animallover87
This is almost as confusing as French grammar!
sijaketbiru
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
Rhythmatik
I blame the traffic!
ap73870
Utter madness, this is!