Jackie Chan weighs in on the U.S. House passing Trump's tax and spending bill, a victory as improbable as him doing ballet.
Jackie Chan weighs in on the U.S. House passing Trump's tax and spending bill, a victory as improbable as him doing ballet.

Aiyaa! Political Acrobatics!

Hey hey it's Jackie! So I hear the U.S. House did something... interesting. They moved forward with this big tax and spending thingamajig. Like me trying to catch a fly with chopsticks it sounds almost impossible! Republican party they were all over the place like a fight scene with too many props. Very dangerous! Someone could get hurt! But hey sometimes you gotta risk it for the biscuit right?

Speaker Johnson's Kung Fu Grip!

This Speaker Johnson he sounds like a tough cookie. Like me always pushing forward even when the bad guys are throwing everything but the kitchen sink! He managed to keep most of his folks in line even when they were disagreeing like cats and dogs. Remember in 'Drunken Master,' even I had to learn to control my wild side! It's all about balance my friends balance!

Trump's Truth Bombs!

And then there's Trump. He's on his 'Truth Social,' yelling like me when I accidentally step on a Lego! 'Easy YES vote!' he shouts. Aiyaa! Politics so dramatic! It's like a movie script written by a monkey with a typewriter. But hey at least it's entertaining right? Maybe I should make a movie about it... Jackie Chan in 'The Art of the Deal'!

Democrats Throwing Shade!

Now the Democrats they're not happy. They say this bill helps the rich and hurts the poor. Like in 'Police Story,' there's always someone trying to take advantage of the little guy. But we gotta fight for what's right! Even if it means doing a crazy stunt off a building. Okay maybe not that crazy. But you get my point!

The Senate's Plot Twist!

The Senate changed things! More cuts to Medicaid and a bigger debt limit. Aiyaa! It's like they're adding more bad guys to the fight scene! It's getting complicated even for me! I have to keep reminding myself 'Don't just think do!' But in politics maybe it should be 'Think a little then do!'.

To the President's Desk We Go!

So this bill is going to Trump's desk. He wants to sign it. It's like the end of the movie but is it a happy ending? Only time will tell. But remember what I always say: 'I never wanted to be the next Bruce Lee. I wanted to be the first Jackie Chan.' So let's hope this bill helps America be the best it can be. Jackie Chan style!


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