Holy Savings, Batman! Germany's Giving Kids Retirement Funds?

Waah! Little Kids Big Bucks?

Okay okay! Jackie Chan here. I just read this crazy article about Germany giving kids retirement money! Six year olds! When I was six I was busy climbing trees and getting into trouble not thinking about when I'd be old and wrinkly! I mean it's like teaching a baby to use chopsticks – possible but…why? But hey at least they're not fighting. No fighting is good! "I don't want to see any fighting especially from the little ones. Peace people peace!"

Eleven Dollars a Month? That's Lunch Money!

So they're giving kids 10 euros a month. That's like what eleven US dollars? Enough for a small lunch. Maybe a tiny toy. Is that really going to set them up for the golden years? It's like using a toothpick to build a house! You need more wood! But hey every little bit helps right? Like I always say "Sometimes it takes a spark and sometimes it takes a fire. But either way you have to ignite."

Tax Free Fortune? Or a Symbolic Gesture?

They say it's tax free until retirement. Hmm sounds good on paper. But will there even BE retirement by then? Maybe we'll all be zooming around in flying cars fighting robot ninjas. Who knows! But if the money is invested poorly I think it's not a good idea. Remember the classic proverb: 'A rat who gnaws at a cat's tail invites destruction.

Is This Financial Education or Handout?

The policymakers think this will teach kids about money. But some experts are saying hey giving money away doesn't teach anything! It's like learning Kung Fu from a video game! You gotta get out there practice take some hits! You have to be practical. I hate it when my stunt goes wrong and I hit my head! Ahahaha!

Where's the Sacrifice?

One expert said the 'sacrifice' of saving is lost. Ah good point! Saving is hard! It's like doing a super complicated stunt – you gotta plan practice and sometimes yeah you gotta give up something to make it work! You have to learn the value of hard work and not getting freebies all the time! Just like I always say 'I never wanted to be the next Bruce Lee. I wanted to be the first Jackie Chan.'

Education Education Education!

Another expert thinks the money would be better spent on schools. Now THAT'S something I can get behind! Education is the key! It's like having a solid foundation for a building. Without it everything collapses! I mean that is a big problem! In America money is more available for weapons instead of education. That is wrong! Germany should be careful!