Toyota's Takeover Turmoil: Is This Deal Bloody Raw?

A Load of Old Tosh!

Right let's get one thing straight. I've seen some dodgy deals in my time but this one... this one takes the biscuit! Toyota Industries eh? Shares plummeting like a soufflé that's been left out in the rain. 13%! Are you having a laugh? Investors are spitting feathers and frankly I don't blame them. 33 billion dollars for a company that's basically being told 'You're fired!' It's enough to make a grown chef cry. This is absolute madness!

Cross Shareholding Chaos: What the Hell is Going On?

Now I'm no financial wizard but even I can see this cross shareholding business is a right mess. Japan's Financial Services Agency breathing down their necks wanting them to unwind these tangled webs. Apparently Toyota was using this tactic back in 2005 to fend off pesky buyers. Well guess what? The tactic is about as effective as a chocolate teapot now! It's all a bit 'too many cooks spoil the broth' if you ask me!

Tender Offer? More Like a Bender Over!

16,300 yen a share? They closed at 18,400 yen before this announcement! Someone's taking the mickey. A tender offer of $26 billion but it's lower than the independent valuations. What a shambles! It sounds like somebody wasn't happy the special committee asked for it to be improved but the offeror refused. How bloody rude!

The Toyoda Family Fortune: A Billion Here A Billion There...

So we've got Toyota Group creating some fancy holding company. Toyota Fudosan chucking in 180 billion yen and Akio Toyoda himself splashing out a billion yen. Oh and Toyota Motor? A measly 700 billion yen in non voting preferred shares. It's like a bloody Monopoly game gone wrong! And the banks are backing this nonsense with loans? Sumitomo Mitsui MUFG Mizuho... you're all complicit in this financial farce!

Unattractive Offer? You're God Damn Right!

Arun George from SmartKarma is spot on! This offer is about as attractive as a burnt omelet. Below the midpoint of the valuation range? The special committee asked for an improvement three times and got rebuffed? This isn't business it's daylight robbery! They think that this offer is attractive? They're delusional. It's donkey!

Tariff Headwinds: Bloody Hell What Next?

And if all that wasn't enough we've got Trump slapping 25% duties on automobile imports. Analysts saying Toyota Motor will be hit the hardest. Of course they will! They've got a massive exposure to the US market! It's like adding insult to injury. This is a recipe for disaster I tell you!