
Solar Stocks: Bloody Hell!
Right so Trump decides to meddle with green energy subsidies. What happens? Sunrun First Solar Enphase Energy – they're all diving faster than a souffle that's been near a fridge. Seven percent down are you kidding me? It's an absolute DISGRACE! You call yourselves solar companies? More like 'solar powered disasters'! This is the kind of performance that would make a donkey cry.
Datadog's Dodgy Data
And then there's Datadog. Apparently they're about to lose their bloody lunch money because OpenAI might be cooking up their own solutions. Losing significant revenue? They're going to need more than a plaster to fix that! Honestly if your business model relies on one AI giant you're running a Mickey Mouse operation.
Bank Downgrades: Where's the Beef?
JPMorgan Goldman Sachs Bank of America – HSBC decided to give them a good ol' kick in the teeth. Downgraded! What are they amateur hour? Banking is about stability and trust not this wishy washy performance! Get it together you bunch of doughnut!
Shake Shack: Overhyped Burger Flop!
Shake Shack. Up 60%? What utter rubbish! Loop Capital finally wised up and downgraded them. Their 'fundamentals'? More like 'fundamental failures'! The stock's valuation is as bloated as a bloody pufferfish. It's all hype and no substance just like most fast casual rubbish these days!
AI to the Rescue?
Vertiv Holdings gets an upgrade because suddenly everyone's throwing money at AI again? 'The race to spend is back on track'? More like a race to the bottom if you ask me! But good for them I suppose. At least someone's doing something right… maybe.
KeyCorp and Coinbase: A Glimmer of Hope (Maybe)
KeyCorp gets a boost and KULR Technology scores a $20 million deal with Coinbase. Fine good for them. Someone needs to bring some bloody sanity to this market. And Chemours is up 10%? Well that's a mystery isn't it? Who knows why. The market is more temperamental than me in a kitchen full of amateurs.
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