ARE YOU A DONKEY? Stop Saying These Phrases (Before I Lose My Bloody Mind!)

Why Don't You Just... SHUT IT!

Right listen up you panini heads! I read this article yeah? And it's about the phrases you blithering idiots use that make you sound like utter tools. First one: 'Why don't you just...' ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH? Someone comes to you with a problem and you hit 'em with this? It's like saying 'You're too stupid to figure this out yourself!' Instead of sounding like a complete donkey try showing a bit of empathy. Ask them what they've tried. You know be a human being for once! Then maybe just maybe you can offer a suggestion without sounding like a condescending twit.

Actually... Are You Trying to Act Smart?

Next one: 'Actually...' Oh this one grinds my gears. Someone says something and you jump in with an 'Actually...' What are you some kind of know it all? It's like you're saying 'You're wrong I'm right and I'm clearly superior.' Newsflash: nobody likes a smart arse. Try building on what people say you muppets. 'Yes and...' is your new mantra. Get it right or you'll be cleaning the toilets with a toothbrush.

To Be Honest... Are You Usually a Liar?

Oh 'To be honest...' If you have to announce that you're being honest what were you before? A bloody fibber? This phrase is a red flag signaling that you're about to unleash a torrent of negativity. Just get to the point you wankers! Drop the preamble and say what you mean without implying that everything else you've ever said is a load of bollocks.

That Doesn't Make Sense No YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!

And then there's 'That doesn't make sense.' Well maybe you're too thick to understand it! Instead of making someone feel like an idiot try acknowledging what you *do* understand. Ask them to explain their reasoning. Show some humility for crying out loud! It's not about proving you're the smartest person in the room; it's about understanding each other. Now is that too much to ask?

I'm Surprised You Didn't Know That You're a Disgrace!

Finally 'I'm surprised you didn't know that.' What are you the bloody gatekeeper of all knowledge? People don't know everything you condescending prats! Instead of highlighting their ignorance offer to help. 'That's one of those terms that gets thrown around. It means...' See? Simple! It's about being helpful not making someone feel like they've just failed a bloody IQ test.

Listen Up You Bloody Idiots! This is How You Talk!

So there you have it. Five phrases to avoid if you don't want to sound like a complete tool. Tone and timing matter too. Be aware of your intentions and your impact. And for God's sake stop being so bloody judgmental! Now get out there and communicate like a decent human being. And if you can't manage that then get out of my kitchen!