Condiments Get a Kick Up the Arse! Ramsey's Take on the Fancy Food Show

What in the Culinary Hell is Going On Here?

Right listen up you donkey! This isn't your nan's church bake sale it's the Specialty Food Association's Summer Fancy Food Show. I've seen more creativity in a bowl of prison gruel. But some of these bloody trends might just have a chance if they pull their finger out. I'm here to tell you what's hot what's not and what's destined for the bin before you can say 'idiot sandwich.'

Olive Oil: From Bland to Bloody Brilliant (Maybe)

Olive oil eh? For years it's been the culinary equivalent of wallpaper paste – functional but boring as hell. Now they're splashing harissa and sherry casks into it? About time! If it adds some bloody flavour I'm all for it. But if it tastes like dishwater straight to the bloody bin you hear?

Mustard: A Condiment Comeback?

Mustard you say? Finally! That yellow muck has been clinging to life support for too long. 'Caviar of mustards'? Sounds like a load of bollocks but if they’re actually fermenting smoking and brining those seeds into something spectacular then maybe just maybe they’re onto something. Otherwise back to condiment purgatory with the lot of 'em!

Plant Based: Where's the Beef (or Anything Else)?

Plant based... oh here we go. The dream is fading quicker than a souffle in a hurricane. Now they're trying to make it about taste? Too bloody right! No one wants to eat something just because it's 'plant based.' It has to taste like something other than sadness and disappointment. Cashew cheese eh? It better not taste like sweaty socks. Otherwise... YOU'RE CUT!

Chefs Gone Wild (and Packaged)

Chefs selling their sauces? Now this is a trend I can get behind. If these culinary maestros can bottle their brilliance then I say bring it on! I want to taste the passion the fire the bloody obsession. But if it's just some half arsed attempt to cash in I'll tear them a new one. Zahav Foods Caplansky’s... I’m watching you.

Swicy: Sweet Heat or a Load of Old Cobblers?

'Swicy'? Sounds like something a toddler invented. But sweet and spicy CAN be a match made in heaven... or a total disaster. Mike's Hot Honey Slawsa... these blokes are playing a dangerous game. One wrong move and it's going straight into my Kitchen Nightmares hall of shame! And Beef Tallow? Oh dear god that Kennedy bloke is spouting nonsense again. Stick to proper cooking.