Middle East Melee: Is it War or Just a Bloody Kitchen Nightmare?

A Right Royal Kerfuffle

Right let's get one thing straight: this Middle East situation is messier than a toddler's high chair after spaghetti night! Missiles flying over Al Udeid air base? Planes doing U turns faster than a politician caught in a lie? It's all a bit… theatrical isn't it? Like watching a reality show where everyone's playing a role and nobody knows the damn script. Honestly you call this a war? My nan makes a more convincing cup of tea!

Trump's 'Weak' Tea and Telegraphed Tatics

So Trump calls the Iranian strike 'weak'. Well I've seen weaker gravy at a school dinner. And the White House claims the whole shebang was 'telegraphed' to minimize casualties? What is this a badly acted play? It's like saying you're going to burn the toast before you even put it in the toaster. This whole thing smells fishier than a week old turbot left in the sun. And these so called 'largest non nuclear bombs on earth' what a load of bullocks!

Fear and Loathing in the Persian Gulf

People are 'ehhh' about it apparently. Some are laughing. Others are 'angry frustrated sad and scared'. Welcome to the human condition you bunch of doughnuts! But seriously folks are worried. They're worried about being attacked destabilized and having their cousins 'slaughtered'. It's a bloody nightmare isn't it? More concerning is the question will Dubai no longer be a safe place to live.

The Blame Game: Who's the Biggest Idiot Sandwich?

Everyone's pointing fingers like it's a bloody witch hunt. The US Israel Iran – they're all at it! One minute they're having a 'slap fight' the next they're worried about a full scale war. Honestly it's like watching a bunch of toddlers fighting over a toy. 'He started it!' 'No she started it!' Grow up you muppets! Some say that the U.S. and Israel can act independently of any international rules and with impunity. Absolute disgrace!

Dubai's Dilemma: Safe Haven or Sitting Duck?

Dubai once the shining beacon of stability is now feeling the heat. 'Will my property price be affected?' 'Will Dubai no longer be a safe place to live?' These are the questions on everyone's lips. The Swiss expat is 'worried about the flight situation' while others are fearing for their lives. Talk about a mixed bag of emotions! What next are they going to start deep frying mars bars?

A Glimmer of Hope or Just More Bullocks?

Despite the fear and uncertainty there's a 'persistent hope'. A hope that this 'moment of crisis could also be a turning point for something better'. Really? I'll believe it when I see it. Until then I'm keeping my apron on and my knives sharp because this Middle East situation is far from cooked. It needs a bloody miracle to fix!