Idiot Sandwich: Trump vs. The Fed
Right so I'm hearing that Donald Trump bless his cotton socks is back at it again slagging off Jerome Powell the Fed Chair. Calling him 'Mr. Too Late' and 'a major loser'. Honestly it's like watching two toddlers fighting over a bloody toy! Trump appointed Powell in the first place! Now he's moaning about him not cutting interest rates quick enough. It's amateur hour I tell you! Is this guy delusional? What an idiot sandwich!
Market Meltdown: This Dish is RAW!
Unsurprisingly the markets have reacted like a soufflé in a hurricane. Stocks are down the dollar's weaker than yesterday's coffee and gold's gone through the roof. What does this all mean? Simple: investors are losing faith in the American economy faster than I lose patience with a useless commis chef. They're running for the hills and grabbing anything that looks even remotely safe. This isn't just bad; it's bloody disastrous!
Tesla's Tumble: Where's the Bloody Lamb Sauce?
And let's not forget Tesla eh? Shares are down almost 6%! That's worse than finding a hair in your Beef Wellington! Someone asked Musk's team about damage control regarding his 'political activities'. Well I suggest he stops acting like a donkey and focus on building decent cars before the whole company goes down the drain! Bloody hell where's the lamb sauce?
Trade Winds Blowing: Can India and the US Work Together or Will It Be Another Disaster?
Now over in India Modi and Vance are trying to sort out a trade deal. Good for them! Maybe they can actually agree on something unlike some other people I could mention. It's about time countries worked together instead of bickering like a bunch of school kids in the playground.
Nomura's Acquisition: Adding Some Spice to the Market?
Nomura's buying up bits of Macquarie. Good for them. Hopefully they'll make better use of it than some of the clowns I've seen running kitchens. Now let's hope they've got the skill and the bloody talent to do it right!
Currency Chaos: Walking on Eggshells
And finally we've got central banks all over the world panicking about the dollar. They're trying to decide whether to devalue their currencies which is a bit like walking on eggshells. One wrong move and they're all buggered! It's a right old mess and someone needs to sort it out sharpish!
Comments
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rs1982
This is a financial nightmare!
najahp
Everyone is losing their bloody minds over this!
abitosunshine
Someone get Trump a bib and a dummy!
varioth
Gold is always a safe bet.
adadad
Powell is the only adult in the room at this point.
lham
Trump is clearly out of his depth!
mikemr12
Trade deals are complicated and important.
Wladek2807
Is this the end of the world?