Bank of America's Stock Picks: Are They Worth the Hype, or Just Another Idiot Sandwich?

What the Hell is Bank of America Cooking?

Right so Bank of America bless their cotton socks has decided to play chef and dish out some 'hot' stock tips. They reckon Apple Hinge Health Roku Datadog and Jabil are the crème de la crème for the second half of the year. But let's be honest are they serving up a Michelin star meal or just a soggy bottom?

Roku: Streaming Ahead or Just Fizzling Out?

First up Roku. Apparently this streaming service is 'firing on all cylinders' after a cozy partnership with Amazon. An analyst who I bet couldn't cook an egg to save his life raised the price target to $100. Honestly he says it's got 'notable scope to keep expanding'. Scope? It better not be expanding like my waistline after Christmas. Shares are up 16% this year; let's hope it's not just fool's gold.

Hinge Health: Can Digital Therapy Really Deliver?

Next we have Hinge Health the digital physical therapy company. Another analyst calls it a 'leader in a $18.5 billion digital care category'. Eighteen point five billion? That's a lot of dosh for something you do on your phone. Apparently they're expanding into fall prevention and women's pelvic health. Good for them but I'd rather trust a real physio than an app. Shares are up nearly 18% in June so maybe they're onto something...or maybe people are just bloody gullible.

Datadog: AI's Best Friend or Just Another Overhyped Pup?

Then there's Datadog the cloud monitoring company. One of their 'top picks'. Shares are down 7% this year which doesn't exactly scream 'success' does it? An analyst raised his price target to $150 claiming it's 'solidifying its position as a key vendor for the AI experiences of the future'. AI? Bloody hell can't we just have a decent shepherd's pie without all this futuristic bollocks?

Apple: Still the Big Cheese or Past Its Prime?

Ah Apple the golden goose. Bank of America thinks it's got a 'strong iPhone upgrade cycle' coming. Well I hope so because I'm sick of seeing everyone glued to their bloody screens. They also mention 'higher growth in Services revenue' and 'AI features'. Honestly who cares? Just make a phone that doesn't cost more than my bloody car!

Jabil: Who the Hell is Jabil?

Finally Jabil. I've never even heard of them. Apparently they're benefiting from 'secular growth in Automotive healthcare industrial'. Sounds like a load of jargon to me. They mention 'component shortages and supply chain challenges'. Welcome to the real world sunshine! The only challenge I care about is making a bloody perfect risotto.