Giggity Giggity! A Whole New State Department?
Alright! So I just got wind of this draft executive order – sounds kinda kinky right? – that could totally revamp the U.S. State Department. Apparently the big guy wants to give things a 'disciplined reorganization.' I'm all for discipline especially if it involves… well you know. Anyway it looks like some embassies might be closing down particularly in Southern Africa. And some bureaus that deal with 'democracy and human rights' are on the chopping block. Sounds like someone's been watching too much 'Conan the Barbarian,' am I right?
Say Goodbye to Sub Saharan...and Hello to Savings!?
Word on the street or rather in this 16 page draft is that all 'non essential embassies and consulates in Sub Saharan Africa' are getting the boot. I gotta say that's a lot of potential frequent flier miles down the drain! But hey they say it's to 'cut waste fraud and abuse.' Makes you wonder what kind of parties they were throwing over there eh? Maybe I shoulda paid them a visit... for 'inspection' purposes of course!
Regional Corps? More Like Regional Hunks!
Instead of the current regional bureaus they're talking about consolidating everything into four 'regional corps': Eurasia Mid East Latin America and Indo Pacific. Eurasia huh? Sounds exotic! Maybe I can find myself a nice Russian mail order bride... Or maybe a feisty Latina! The possibilities are endless baby! Giggity! All of this to streamline things and make America stronger abroad. Sounds like a job for Captain Courageous!
Canada? More Like Can a duh!
Even our polite neighbors to the north aren't safe! Apparently the State Department's presence in Canada is getting a major haircut. Reduced to a 'North American Affairs Office' under Secretary Rubio. Rubio denies this is true but you know sometimes the truth is stranger than a night out with Joe. Can you imagine how lonely those poor Mounties must be feeling now? Maybe I should go give them a morale boost. Eh?
Human Rights? More Like Human Wrongs! (Just Kidding...Mostly)
And get this – they're talking about axing offices and positions that focus on climate women's issues democracy human rights migration and criminal justice. I mean I'm all for a good time but even I think that's a bit much! Who will think of the ladies?!? Though I suppose it means less paperwork... and more time for… Giggity!
The Foreign Service Officer Test? Time to Unleash Your Inner Trump!
They're even changing how they hire diplomats! Forget the Foreign Service Officer Test! Now it's all about showing 'alignment with the president's foreign policy vision.' So basically kiss up to the big cheese and you're in! Now that's what I call a fair and balanced system! If you don't toe the line you can 'voluntarily separate' with a buyout. Sounds like a great deal! More money and more time to spend with the ladies! It's a win win!
Trump State Department executive order embassies diplomacy reorganization Africa human rights foreign policy Giggity
Comments
From Glen Quagmire
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helencg
Can't wait to see how this plays out.
msargent76
Rubio's denial doesn't mean anything. We have to be vigilant.
pvuppal
Is this real? I hope it's just a bad dream.
Aloha
I can't believe they're cutting funding to human rights programs.
Janman
This is outrageous! What are we going to do now?
ecmoneies
They are not going to think about the ladies?!?
crlconnors
Giggity! This is going to be interesting.
italad
Well, this is certainly… something.