Giggity! Nvidia's New Chip Has Me Feeling...Intelligent?

Giggity Goes to the Cloud!

Well hello there! Your favorite pilot Glen Quagmire reporting live (sort of) on some tech news that's got me more excited than a swimsuit calendar convention! Nvidia those geniuses behind the silicon just rolled out their new Blackwell Ultra chips and they're sexier than Lois in a French maid outfit! And get this CoreWeave is the first lucky cloud provider to get their hands on them. Giggity!

72 GPUs? That's More Action Than I See in a Week!

These new systems that CoreWeave is snagging are packing some serious heat – literally! They're liquid cooled which sounds like my kind of pool party. We're talking 72 Blackwell Ultra GPUs and 36 Nvidia Grace CPUs. That's like having 72 dates lined up all at once! Giggity Giggity Goo!

Dell Does It Again...Like I Do on Friday Nights!

Turns out Dell is the one assembling all this high tech goodness right here in the good ol' US of A. So basically its made in America and great! Someone get me a beer and a burger I'm feeling patriotic and horny all of a sudden... Giggity! CoreWeave's stock is up 6% Dell's up 2% and even Nvidia got a little boost. Everyone's getting lucky tonight.

50 Times More AI Content? Sounds Like a Party!

Nvidia says this Blackwell Ultra can churn out 50 times more AI content than the old one. That's like going from a quiet night in to a full blown Quagmire party! Who wants to learn how to write AI erotica? Giggity!

CoreWeave: The Little Cloud That Could...Score!

CoreWeave despite not being as big as Amazon Google or Microsoft is making a splash. They're the first to offer these new chips which gives them a serious edge. Kinda like me and my... ahem... "unique" skill set. It pays to be first folks. Giggity!

A Stake in the Game Just Like My Love Life!

Turns out Nvidia owns a piece of CoreWeave! That's a pretty sweet deal. And the stock has quadrupled since going public. Sounds like somebody's getting lucky...again! Now if only my investments in that dating app would pay off... Giggity Giggity Goo!