OpenAI's Got Talent! Or How We're Building the Starship of AI Talent and Leaving Earth Behind

To Infinity...and Beyond the HR Department!

Alright folks listen up! This is Elon and let me tell you the AI talent war is hotter than a flamethrower (not a boring one a *real* one). OpenAI's new recruiting head Joaquin Quiñonero Candela is on a mission – a mission to boldly go where no HR department has gone before! He says recruiting has 'never been more important.' Frankly he sounds a bit stressed. Relax Joaquin we've got this. Just remember when things get tough just build a bigger rocket! Metaphorically of course. Unless...

MaxQ and Beyond: Pressure Makes Diamonds (and AGI)

Joaquin says OpenAI is at 'MaxQ,' maximum dynamic pressure. Translation: things are getting real. But hey pressure makes diamonds right? And we're not just building diamonds; we're building AGI! Artificial General Intelligence the thing that will either save humanity or make us all work for our robot overlords. Either way it’ll be entertaining. Maybe we can get the robots to run Twitter. Couldn't be worse than it is now. Just kidding... mostly.

Meta's Money Grab: Scale AI and the Quest for Brainpower

So Meta's throwing around $14 billion for Scale AI. Classic Zuck move. Probably hoping to copy paste their way to AGI. Good luck with that. It's like trying to build a Starship out of duct tape and emojis. You need vision passion and a healthy dose of 'what the hell let's try it!'. And a few billion dollars. Just saying.

Instacart CEO to AI Overlord: The Next Level of Management

We snagged Instacart's CEO Fidji Simo. Apparently she's going to help us 'scale our traditional company functions.' Which basically means she's going to whip our accounting department into shape. Just kidding! (Probably.) But seriously having a grocery guru onboard means we can at least guarantee the AI overlords will have perfectly organized pantries when they take over. Priorities people! Priorities.

Jony Ive's Hardware Dreams: Because Even AI Needs a Beautiful Case

And let's not forget Jony Ive's AI devices hardware startup. $6.4 billion? Worth every penny if it means our AI gets to live in sleek minimalist housing. Think of it as the Apple of the AGI world. I bet you didn't think Apple and Tesla would merge in this universe.

AGI or Bust: Building a Team Ready to Take on the Universe

Candela wants to 'build a staggeringly capable mission aligned workforce.' Well Joaquin you've come to the right place. We're not just building AI; we're building the future. So if you're a brilliant engineer a coding ninja or just someone who can explain quantum physics to a Pomeranian apply now! And remember we're not just looking for employees; we're looking for the humans who will help us build the future. And maybe colonize Mars while we're at it. Because you know why not?