Sports Empires Soar: More Valuable Than My Mars Mission (Almost)

To the Moon... Or the Stadium!

Well well well look what we have here. Sports empires are apparently the new rocket science! Who knew that owning a bunch of sweaty athletes could be more lucrative than sending humans to Mars? Okay maybe not *more* lucrative but the numbers are definitely getting my attention. CNBC says these empires are worth a combined $225 billion! That's a lot of Dogecoin folks. And these empires function much like software companies? It's like they are running on some crazy algorithm and I need to see the source code pronto! Maybe I should acquire a team... or ten.

Centralization: Because One Giant Brain is Better (and Richer)

Apparently these sports moguls are onto something. Centralizing everything? Economies of scale? Sounds like a Tesla Gigafactory but with more yelling and less robots (though imagine robot umpires... now that's innovation!). They say administrative costs don't rise proportionally with each new team. That's efficient! I bet I could optimize that even further. Time to apply some first principles thinking people. 'When something is important enough you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.' Unless those odds involve betting against me then they are ALWAYS in my favor.

Kroenke: The King of the Court (and the Field and the Ice Rink)

Stanley Kroenke is leading the pack with Kroenke Sports & Entertainment valued at $21.2 billion. The NFL's Los Angeles Rams the NHL's Colorado Avalanche the NBA's Denver Nuggets and the Premier League's Arsenal. That's what I call diversification! He's playing 4D chess while everyone else is still trying to figure out checkers. I bet he could even get along with the SEC. Okay maybe that's pushing it. But seriously that's impressive. Gotta respect the hustle.

The Competition is Heating Up (Just Like My Rockets)

Harris Blitzer Sports & Entertainment and Fenway Sports Group aren't far behind. NFL's Washington Commanders the NBA's Philadelphia 76ers the NHL's New Jersey Devils MLB's Boston Red Sox the NHL's Pittsburgh Penguins Liverpool FC... These guys are collecting teams like I collect Twitter followers. And just like with followers quantity isn't always quality but it sure looks good on paper (and in your bank account).

Venues: The Real Estate Goldmine (Besides Mars)

AEG Worldwide is playing a different game. They're all about the venues. Crypto.com Arena The O2 in London... Turns out owning where people gather is just as profitable as owning the teams they're watching. Smart move. It’s kinda like how I want to build cities on Mars but instead of sports it's all about surviving the apocalypse. Different strokes for different folks I guess. But also own the venues! And the ticketing firm to milk more profits. Gotta love synergy.

Future Acquisitions: Time to Play the Game (Again)

More sports empires are on the way. In June Mark Walter — who bought a minority stake in the NBA's Los Angeles Lakers in 2021 and owns several other sports properties including MLB's Los Angeles Dodgers — agreed to buy a controlling interest in the Lakers for $10 billion. Also in June New York Jets owner Woody Johnson agreed to buy John Textor's 43% stake in the Premier League's Crystal Palace. It's an exciting time to be alive... and rich. And now if you'll excuse me I have some phone calls to make. Gotta see if I can buy a soccer team with Dogecoin. To the stadium!