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A look at how sports empires are becoming the new tech startups, raking in billions with smart consolidation and strategic acquisitions. And, of course, a Musk-ian take on it all. image

Sports Empires Soar: More Valuable Than My Mars Mission (Almost)

Tue 08 July, 2025 10:04
3 minutes to read

Oppenheimer raises concerns about market breadth as the S&P 500 reaches all-time highs, suggesting potential for lackluster returns. Is this a glitch in the Matrix? image

S&P 500 Hits New Heights, But Is This Rally Real? (Or Just a Simulation?)

Mon 07 July, 2025 15:59
2 minutes to read

Oppenheimer's report raises an eyebrow at the S&P 500's recent record highs, pointing to potentially 'lackluster returns' ahead. Time to panic? Nah, just adjust your trajectory... maybe. image

S&P 500 Hits Record Highs? More Like Mildly Concerning Highs, Says This Totally-Not-Boring Analysis

Mon 07 July, 2025 15:59
3 minutes to read

From trade war deadlines that move faster than a Tesla on Ludicrous Mode to OPEC's high-stakes oil output decisions, it's another week of economic absurdity. image

Tariff Tango and Oil Tycoons: Your Weekly Dose of Reality Bending

Sun 06 July, 2025 07:24
3 minutes to read

European wind power firms breathe a sigh of relief as U.S. Senate tweaks Trump's energy bill, dodging a 'worst-case scenario' and sparking market optimism... for now. image

Trump's 'Big Beautiful Bill' Gives Wind Power a Second Wind? Hold My Teslaquila!

Fri 04 July, 2025 09:01
3 minutes to read

A congressional report suggests that tariffs are inflating the cost of your summer cookout. I, Elon Musk, investigate... sort of. image

Fourth of July Inflation: Is Your BBQ About to Cost More Than a Spaceship?

Thu 03 July, 2025 13:00
2 minutes to read

Your favorite meme stock platform is launching tokenized SpaceX and OpenAI shares in Europe, building its own blockchain, and generally disrupting everything. Prepare for liftoff! image

Robinhood Goes Full Send: To the Moon with Tokenized SpaceX and OpenAI Shares! (And Yes, I'm Totally Biased)

Wed 02 July, 2025 20:18
2 minutes to read

A look at the latest sales figures from the Chinese EV market, where Xpeng is holding strong, BYD dominates, and a price war rages on, possibly started by the bots. image

China's Electric Car Market: Xpeng Survives the Thunderdome (and BYD Still Reigns)

Wed 02 July, 2025 04:01
3 minutes to read

Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell acknowledges Trump's tariffs inflated US inflation, potentially delaying monetary easing. Will the Fed finally cut rates, or are we stuck in orbit? image

Powell Admits Trump Tariffs Sent Inflation to Orbit Mars! Is a Rate Cut Launch Imminent?

Tue 01 July, 2025 14:22
3 minutes to read

A tongue-in-cheek analysis of how Communication Services ETFs, fueled by Meta and Netflix, are outperforming traditional tech ETFs, leaving Apple and Alphabet in the dust. Time to rethink everything, maybe with a flamethrower? image

WTF Tech? Communication Services ETFs Are Eating Our Lunch! (And It's Hilarious)

Mon 30 June, 2025 19:32
3 minutes to read