Consumer Spending Rollercoaster: Are We Approaching Ludicrous Speed or Just Another Mars Landing Abort?

Sentiment Sliding? More Like Preparing for Hyperloop!

Okay folks gather 'round. Apparently consumer sentiment is taking a nosedive. Second lowest on record? Sounds like the perfect time to invent a new record am I right? Credit card data showing cutbacks? Pfft that's just people freeing up capital to buy more Dogecoin. Remember sometimes you need to go through the Boring Company tunnel to get to Mars! And Walmart Microsoft and Subaru are whining about tariffs? Classic. They should try building rockets; tariffs would seem like a walk in the park. But hey don't despair! As Frontier Group's CEO Barry Biffle says 'The consumer is coming back with a vengeance!' I like that guy. Vengeance is a powerful motivator. Maybe we can put vengeance in a battery. VengeanceCells? I'll workshop it.

Home Sweet Home: If You Can Afford It!

So the housing market. Taylor Morrison CEO Sheryl Palmer says older homebuyers are dropping serious cash. 'I want what I want I can afford what I want and I don't know what tomorrow brings so I want to live every day to the fullest.' That's the spirit! YOLO but make it responsible with a mortgage. Meanwhile younger buyers are sweating over affordability. Look I get it. Avocado toast is expensive. But seriously rising home prices insurance and groceries are a real drag. Maybe we should colonize Mars and build affordable housing there? Just a thought. And to all the younger home buyers out there...work harder! Just kidding (sort of). Find something you love but also makes a lot of money and then buy a Tesla that can double as your home!

Carvana CEO: Credit is Credit... Until it Isn't

Carvana's CEO Ernie Garcia says the tariff induced car buying frenzy is cooling off. Apparently people rushed to buy cars before the prices went even more bonkers. Sounds like something I'd do if I wasn't busy building self driving Teslas. He also claims consumer credit is 'pretty stable.' I always feels like credit is getting worse but I don't think there's a lot of evidence yet that it's getting a lot worse. I'm not so sure. But hey if you need a car Carvana's got you covered. Just don't blame me when you're stuck in traffic. That's what Autopilot is for!

Pinterest: Where Budgets Meet Inspiration

Pinterest CEO Bill Ready is seeing a surge in searches for 'budget related items.' Translation: Gen Z is finally realizing money doesn't grow on digital trees. Welcome to the real world kids! But hey at least they're using Pinterest for inspiration. Maybe they'll find a DIY project to build their own Cybertruck. Now that's innovation!

Experiences > Things? Or Are We Just Distracting Ourselves?

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and Marriott CEO Anthony Capuano are seeing strong demand in sports and travel. People are still willing to shell out big bucks to watch oversized men smash into each other and sleep in overpriced hotel rooms. Priorities people! But hey who am I to judge? I once spent billions on Twitter... or X whatever. Capuano says he's monitoring job trends. Smart move. If people lose their jobs they can't afford those stadium beers or that fancy hotel breakfast. Unless... we start accepting Dogecoin at stadiums and hotels? Now we're talking! This could also enable us to start accepting Dogecoin for Tesla cars. This is getting better and better!

The Final Frontier: Stability... Maybe?

Capuano sums it up nicely: 'Our business thrives in times of stability and high consumer confidence.' Neither of which have been in ample supply lately. So what's the solution? Obviously we need to colonize Mars. A stable self sustaining civilization on another planet? Now that's consumer confidence I can get behind. Plus imagine the travel packages: 'Visit Olympus Mons! See the Valles Marineris! Get stranded with Elon!' Okay maybe not that last one. But hey a guy can dream right? And speaking of dreaming...time for me to get back to building rockets. After all the best way to predict the future is to invent it. And maybe accept a few more Dogecoins.