China's Economy: I've Seen Worse (and More Teeth)

They Mostly Come Out at Night... Mostly.

Alright people Ripley here. Heard some rumblings about China's economy and figured I'd weigh in. After all I've faced worse things than a bit of economic uncertainty. Like acid blooded monsters in space. The National Bureau of Statistics is saying retail sales jumped 6.4% in May. Sounds good right? But don't get complacent. Remember Hadley's Hope? Everything seemed fine until it wasn't.

Industrial Output: Not Bad For a Human.

Industrial output grew but slowed down a bit 5.8% year on year. Look I'm no economist but even I know slowing down isn't great. It's like trying to outrun a Xenomorph when you're stuck in a cargo loader. Fixed asset investment also took a hit growing by 3.7%. Someone needs to get their act together before we're all space dust.

Unemployment: At Least Someone's Working

The urban survey based unemployment rate eased to 5.0%. So fewer people are jobless. That's... decent. But I still wouldn't go congratulating anyone just yet. Always expect the worst. That way you're never disappointed. Or eaten.

Tariffs: A Game of Chicken With Nukes.

Apparently there's some tariff tango going on between Beijing and Washington. A 'tariff deal' gave exports a bit of a breather. And yet Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick is saying U.S. tariffs on Chinese imports will stay at their current level of 55%. Seriously? It's like these guys WANT an economic chest burster.

Exports: They Can't All Be Winners

China's exports to the U.S. plunged over 34%. Ouch. That's gotta sting more than acid to the face. But shipments to Southeast Asia Europe and Africa helped soften the blow. Still makes you wonder what's next? Space travel tariffs?

Deflation: Now What!?

Consumer prices have been declining and factory gate deflation has deepened. On the bright side maybe things will be cheaper? On the dark side it might mean something’s seriously wrong. I swear it's always something. 'I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.'