In Space, No One Can Hear You Shop: Retailers vs. New York Over Algorithmic Pricing!

Another Day Another Corporate Nightmare

Alright people listen up. Ripley here. You know I thought I'd seen it all from acid bleeding aliens to corporate androids trying to smuggle them back to Earth. But this… this takes the cake. The National Retail Federation is suing New York State? Over *pricing*? Seems like there’s always another monster to face doesn't it? Back on the Nostromo it was a Xenomorph. Now? It's algorithms. And apparently algorithms have rights. Go figure. I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Big Brother is Watching...Your Wallet?

So New York passed this law saying retailers gotta tell you when they're using your personal data to jack up the prices. Governor Hochul thinks it's shady keeping folks from comparison shopping. I get it. Try buying a decent flamethrower attachment in this galaxy without getting ripped off. It's impossible. These retailers are screaming it violates their First Amendment rights. Apparently algorithms now have the right to remain silent… until they’ve charged you an extra 20%. I'm starting to think those Weyland Yutani guys were less subtle.

Ominous Warnings and Speculative Fear...Sounds Familiar

The NRF is whining about having to put 'misleading and ominous' warnings on their prices. Misleading and ominous? That’s my life story! They’re saying this law is based on “speculative fear” of price gouging. Newsflash: fear is what keeps you alive! Ask anyone who's met a Xenomorph. Besides these big companies are all about loyalty rewards and promotions which somehow result in lower prices. Yeah right. And the Company cares about its employees. Pull the other one Bishop!

$1000 Fine? That's Pocket Change for a Mega Corp

This law slaps retailers with a $1000 fine per violation. A *thousand* credits? That's like finding a dime in the Nostromo’s air ducts. For these corporate giants it's peanuts. They'll just factor it into their 'cost of doing business,' right next to 'acceptable levels of human loss.' Meanwhile Attorney General Letitia James is stuck cleaning up the mess. I feel her pain. Cleaning up alien goo is way less complicated though. At least you know what you're dealing with.

Political Football...or Corporate Game of Tag?

Even the Federal Trade Commission jumped into this mess. They did a study saying retailers could use your location and browsing history to *target* you with different prices. Target? That's what the Xenomorphs do! Except they’re targeting your chest cavity not your bank account. Apparently some guy named Ferguson (not Burke thankfully) thought the FTC study was rushed out for political reasons. Figures. Politics. Always gets in the way of blowing things up real good.

Game Over Man? More Like Just the Beginning

So here we are. Retailers fighting disclosure politicians playing games and consumers getting fleeced. What else is new? You know what I say? Stay frosty. Keep an eye on your accounts. And if you see anything suspicious don't go investigating alone. Call someone who knows how to handle a corporate infestation. Because trust me these algorithms? They're just another kind of alien.