China's Economy: Is This a Profit Growth or Another Bug Hunt?

Wake Up Hicks! Profits are (Maybe) Up!

Alright people Ripley here. Just got word about China's industrial profits. Seems they've pulled themselves out of a nosedive – for now. According to official data profits rose 0.8% in the first quarter. That's like finding a flamethrower after thinking you're stuck with a spork. A small victory but I've learned not to trust anything that looks too good to be true. Remember Hadley's Hope? 'Mostly Harmless,' they said. Yeah right.

Trade War? Sounds Like the Company's Playing Games Again.

But here's the kicker. This so called 'growth' is happening while the U.S. is breathing down China's neck with tariffs. It's like trying to enjoy a cup of coffee while a Xenomorph is tap dancing on your table. Economists are jittery investors are sweating and everyone's waiting for the Chinese government to pull a rabbit out of its hat. Or maybe a pulse rifle. Either would be helpful right about now.

Smart Gadgets and Kitchen Appliances: Distractions or Solutions?

Apparently folks buying wearable smart devices and new kitchen appliances helped things along. I guess if you can't beat the Xenomorphs you might as well look good while you're being eaten. Seriously though who knew retail therapy could save an economy? Maybe we should've given the Marines at Hadley's Hope some new blenders instead of pulse rifles. Might have changed the outcome. Nah.

Deflation: The Silent Killer.

Even with the slight profit uptick deflationary pressures are still lurking in the shadows. This is bad news. Lower prices might sound good but they can choke corporate profits and worker's incomes. You see it becomes a race to the bottom. The company wants their profits and will suck you dry to get them. If you can't make a profit you don't survive. It’s like being stuck in an air duct with a Xenomorph – you're just waiting to get picked off one by one.

The Government's Got a Plan (Maybe).

The Chinese government knows they're in a bind. They're telling exporters to find local buyers since the U.S. market is now about as welcoming as a Xenomorph nest. But factories are whining about weak domestic demand price wars and payment delays. Classic. It's always something isn't it? I have an idea maybe they can ship these goods to LV 426. What do you mean they are not interested?!

State vs. Private vs. Foreign: The Corporate Food Chain.

And here's the breakdown. State owned firms? Profits dipped. Private sector companies? Also took a hit. Foreign firms? They actually saw a gain. Figures. Always the outsiders making out like bandits. Makes you wonder who's really running the show doesn't it? If they are all on the company's payroll the chances are they will sell you out. But that's business I guess. Just try not to get slimed. Remember what Burke said: 'This is a very exciting day for me.'