Another One Bites the Dust: Musk Tosses Tesla Exec Out the Airlock

Houston We Have a Problem (Again)

Alright people Ripley here. Seems like things are getting spicy over at Tesla. Word on the street – well CNBC Forbes Bloomberg and X more specifically – is that Elon Musk just gave Omead Afshar Tesla's VP of Manufacturing and Operations a one way ticket off the Nostromo. Or you know a pink slip. Apparently slumping car sales are to blame but I smell something else burning besides rubber. Feels like I'm back on LV 426 only this time it's electric cars and not acid bleeding monsters causing all the trouble.

Who's Watching the Watchmen... er Execs?

This Afshar guy was leading a whole squad of high level employees including folks like Troy Jones (North American sales) and Joe Ward (Europe Middle East and Africa). And get this – Karen Steakley who used to be cozy with the Texas Governor Greg Abbott is now in charge of business development and policy. Sounds like a real party doesn't it? Nobody's talking of course. Figures. Just like Weyland Yutani always tight lipped about their little experiments.

Secret Projects and Shady Glass: This Isn't a Game Man!

Turns out Afshar was already under investigation back in '22 for ordering some fancy hard to get glass for a 'secretive project' for Musk. Secretive project huh? That always ends well. Reminds me of the whole Xenomorph debacle. 'Oh it's just a little egg what could possibly go wrong?' Famous last words! Anyway after that he did a stint at SpaceX – because you know firing people into space is totally normal. And then bam! Back to Tesla promoted. The guy must be like a cockroach you can't get rid of him.

Tweeting into the Void: Nobody Can Hear You Scream...Except Musk

The real kicker? Afshar's still got 'Tesla' plastered all over his X profile and he was just gushing over Musk's Robotaxi launch. Talk about awkward! 'Thank you Elon for pushing us all!' Yeah right off the cliff pal. Meanwhile another exec Milan Kovac (robotics program) bailed to spend more time with his family. Classic. I bet he saw the writing on the wall. Or maybe he just realized spending time with the kids is less terrifying than working for Musk.

Tesla's Stock: Lower Than My Chances of Retirement

And here's the real kicker: Tesla's stock is tanking faster than the Nostromo after that little chestburster incident. Sales in Europe are down and customers are ditching Tesla for cheaper Chinese EVs. I guess folks are finally realizing that just because it's shiny and new doesn't mean it won't bite you in the ass. Sounds like Musk's been spending more time being a loudmouth online than running the company. Who knew alienating everyone could hurt your bottom line?

Political Theater: The Company Way

He spent nearly $300 million to get Trump re elected and then led an initiative to gut federal agencies. Now that is just bad. And if that was not enough he also formally endorsed and promoted Germany's far right anti immigrant AfD party. Guess he thinks running a car company is boring or something. Well I've got news for him: dealing with acid spewing aliens is less messy than politics. At least the aliens are honest about wanting to kill you.