Another Day, Another Bureaucratic Nightmare: They're At It Again, People!

Wake Up People! Can You Smell The Coffee?

Alright people listen up. Ripley here fresh off… well let’s just say I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe. And what I’m seeing now is just another facehugger of a situation brewing in Washington. Seems this “big beautiful bill” of Trump’s cleared some hurdle in the Senate. Reminds me of Weyland Yutani trying to push another mission down our throats. Always with the 'assured returns' and 'minimal risks'. Yeah right.

The Usual Suspects and Their 'Motivations'

So 51 yeas 49 nays. Usual suspects playing their little games. Every Democrat against it plus a couple of Republicans playing tough. Then the holdouts fold like a cheap hand of cards. Like a bunch of two faced synths they are! Senator Ron Johnson flipped his vote at the last second? Please! I've seen more believable double crosses from Ash. They're all in it for themselves just like Burke. 'Is that gonna be on the whole division?'. Gimme a break.

Thune's Desperate Dash and The July 4th Deadline

This John Thune guy is sweating bullets trying to get this monstrosity to Trump by July 4th. Talk about a deadline from hell. It's like Hicks setting the nuke timer on LV 426. Only this time instead of aliens it's the American taxpayer who's gonna get nuked. 'Nuke the site from orbit—it's the only way to be sure.'...I wish it was that easy.

Read It and Weep... Or Read It and Sleep

And Schumer bless his heart is making them read the whole 940 page bill out loud. Says they'll be there all night. I tell you what; that’s a guaranteed cure for insomnia if I ever heard one. Good luck staying awake through that mess. You'll need more than caffeine believe me. Maybe Hicks would have some ideas...or Bishop.

House of Horrors: Coming Soon To a Vote Near You

Don’t think this is over people. This thing has to go back to the House and those folks are already squawking about Medicaid cuts. Sounds like a buffet for the xenomorphs... I mean lobbyists. And with those narrow majorities it’s gonna be a bloodbath. Mark my words someone's getting short timed.

Trump's Promise and The Ultimate Betrayal (Again!)

And of course Trump’s all about “keeping promises”. Failure to pass this bill would be the “ultimate betrayal,” says the White House. Well I’ve seen a few betrayals in my time and let me tell you a spending bill not passing ain’t the worst of them. How about getting left for dead on a space station? Now *that's* a betrayal. Just remember what Hicks said: 'Just another bug hunt.'