President Trump's stock advice on Truth Social led to significant gains for investors who bought in at the right moment, especially in SPDR, Trump Media & Technology, and Tesla stocks.
President Trump's stock advice on Truth Social led to significant gains for investors who bought in at the right moment, especially in SPDR, Trump Media & Technology, and Tesla stocks.

Ay Caramba! Trump's Stock Tip?

So like President Trump right? The dude's got a Truth Social account probably 'cause Twitter banned him for saying something outrageous again. Anyway he drops this bomb at 9:37 a.m. ET: "THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO BUY!!! DJT" Now I'm no Milhouse Van Houten when it comes to finance but even I know DJT is his initials AND the ticker for his company Trump Media & Technology! Sneaky huh? You could say it was excellent!

Cowabunga! Stocks Go Up!

Apparently some chumps actually listened to the guy! If you threw your lunch money into the SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust – yeah try saying that five times fast – you could've made a sweet profit. Like it went from $494.11 to $539.87! That's a 9% jump! $1,000 turns into $1,093? Not bad for a morning's work even if it means you're like supporting the system man.

Eat My Shorts Bear Market!

But wait there's more! Trump Media & Technology itself went bananas! It went from $16.69 to $20.40! That's a 22% spike! $1,000 becomes $1,222! Now we're talking! Maybe I should've emptied my piggy bank. Doh!

Tesla's Electric Slide!

Even Tesla that Elon Musk mobile company got in on the action. Their stock went from $226.27 to $266.92! An 18% boost! Another easy $180 on a $1,000 investment! All thanks to Trump's uh "insight." Marge would probably say this is no way to use money.

I Didn't Do It! Market Manipulation?

Of course not everyone's doing the Bartman dance. Some nerds on WallStreetBets are calling foul saying it's market manipulation! One genius even said if you were inside the White House and didn't get rich off this you're dumber than Ralph Wiggum! Ouch! But hey who am I to judge? I'm just a kid and kids are stupid. Except for me!

Don't Have a Cow Man!

So there you have it! Trump tweets stocks go up investors get rich and the world keeps spinning. Just another day in Springfield I mean America. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go try to short sell Mr. Burns' nuclear power plant. See ya!


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