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Waymo is now letting teens aged 14-17 hail autonomous rides in Phoenix, aiming to boost ridership and maybe finally make some moolah for Alphabet. image

Eat My Shorts, Driver's Ed! Waymo Lets Teens Ride Solo!

Tue 08 July, 2025 17:03
2 minutes to read

The Reserve Bank of Australia decided to play it cool with interest rates, leaving everyone hanging like Milhouse at a dance. Looks like we're stuck with the status quo, man! image

Eat My Shorts, Inflation! Aussie Bank Freezes Rate, D'oh!

Tue 08 July, 2025 05:25
2 minutes to read

Central North Carolina gets soaked by Tropical Storm Chantal, leading to rescues, evacuations, and power outages. Ay, caramba! image

Eat My Shorts, Mother Nature! Tropical Storm Chantal Dumps a Dud on North Carolina!

Mon 07 July, 2025 13:38
2 minutes to read

A totally bogus storm turned Texas into a water park, leaving peeps stranded and authorities squirming. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, Mother Nature! Texas Flood a Real Knee-Slapper (Not for the Victims, D'oh!)

Sat 05 July, 2025 21:44
3 minutes to read

India's SEBI bans Jane Street Group from its securities market and impounds millions in alleged ill-gotten gains. Cowabunga, dudes! image

Eat My Shorts, Wall Street! SEBI Slaps Jane Street with Naughty Restraining Order!

Fri 04 July, 2025 02:15
3 minutes to read

Baidu's search engine gets a major AI makeover to keep up with the times (and those pesky upstart rivals). Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, Google! Baidu Gets AI-licious Upgrade!

Thu 03 July, 2025 11:44
3 minutes to read

Bart Simpson reports on how Trump's tariffs are making stuff more expensive at stores like Macy's and Nordstrom, and who's gonna pay for it? Ay, caramba! image

Eat My Shorts, Prices Are Going Up! Trump's Tariffs Hit Your Wallet Harder Than Milhouse's Head

Wed 02 July, 2025 15:40
2 minutes to read

The House Judiciary Committee is cracking down on Brown, Penn, and Harvard, suspecting some seriously uncool price-fixing shenanigans with tuition and financial aid. Ay, caramba! image

Eat My Shorts, Ivy League! Congress Busts Out the Subpoenas!

Wed 02 July, 2025 00:17
2 minutes to read

Forget boring old ETFs, corporate treasuries are stacking Bitcoin faster than Milhouse eats paste, betting on a crypto future even Principal Skinner can't deny! image

Eat My Shorts, ETFs! Companies are Gobbling Up Bitcoin Like Krusty Burgers!

Tue 01 July, 2025 13:49
2 minutes to read

NASA's blasting off its rocket launches and space shenanigans onto Netflix, but don't worry, it's still free on their app. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, Outer Space! NASA Hits Netflix!

Mon 30 June, 2025 18:49
2 minutes to read