Eat My Tariffs, Man! Trump's Trade Troubles and How He'll Probably Cheat Anyway

Court's Out! No More Tariffs... For Now

Ay caramba! So like this judge dude told President Trump he can't just go around slapping tariffs on everyone like they're Milhouse. Something about overstepping his authority or whatever. Basically Trump got a wedgie from the legal system. They even said 'No more!' to any future tariff shenanigans. Sucks to be him! Or does it...?

D'oh! Trump's Not Done Yet

Turns out Trump's got a few 'get out of jail free' cards. Goldman Sachs (those guys with all the money kinda like Mr. Burns but less…radioactive) says he can probably find some loopholes. It's like when I 'accidentally' broke Mrs. Krabappel's car window with a rock – I always find a way to blame it on Milhouse. Trump's gonna Milhouse this whole thing.

Section This Section That... Sounds Boring!

Apparently there's a bunch of ancient laws like Section 122 and Section 301 that Trump can use to sneak around the court's decision. Section 122 sounds like the easiest but it only lasts for like 150 days. Which is just enough time for me to prank Principal Skinner with a stink bomb and then blame it on Bart Jr. (my evil twin... don't tell anyone!).

Supreme Court Showdown: Will They Eat His Shorts?

Some fancy lawyer dude named James Ransdell says this whole thing could end up in the Supreme Court. That's where the REALLY important judge dudes hang out. It's like the Springfield Retirement Castle but with more robes and less shuffleboard. Will they let Trump keep his tariffs? My money's on 'maybe'. He's got a knack for weaseling his way out of trouble. Cowabunga!

Playing the Game: Trump's Court Strategy

Another smartypants economist named Steven Blitz thinks Trump knows how to play the courts like I know how to skateboard down Evergreen Terrace without wiping out (most of the time). He'll probably try to get the Supreme Court to let him keep the tariffs while they argue about it. Classic Trump move! I bet he learned it from watching Itchy & Scratchy.

Constitutional Democracy? More Like a 'Don't Have a Cow Man!' Situation

Blitz guy said something about a monarchy versus a constitutional democracy. Sounds like a history lesson from Mr. Bergstrom which basically means... Zzzzzzzz. All I know is Trump wanted to be king of tariffs but the court said 'Eat my shorts!' So he's probably gonna try to find a cheat code. Just like in the video games.