Eat My Shorts, World! Israel vs. Iran, Markets Go Kablooey!

Ay Caramba! War's Brewing!

Alright dudes and dudettes Bart Simpson here your favorite chronicler of chaos! So apparently grown ups are at it again. Israel and Iran are playing a game of 'who can throw the biggest tantrum,' and the world's holding its breath. Russia's all like 'Whoa dudes chill or it's gonna get real bad!' Meanwhile the U.S. might jump in which is like Principal Skinner joining a food fight – nobody wins and everyone gets detention. Or worse... expelled!

Don't Have a Cow Man! Markets Go Bonkers

So while everyone's yelling and screaming the markets are doing the jitterbug. Oil prices went up like Milhouse's allowance after he found that twenty dollar bill in the parking lot and travel stocks are tanking faster than Lisa's popularity after she snitched on me for replacing the sugar with salt (again!). Looks like nobody wants to fly over a potential war zone which let's be honest is kinda smart.

Airbus is Flyin' High!

But hey not all's doom and gloom! Airbus is making bank at the Paris Air Show. They've got more orders than Krusty has clown wigs. 20 Billion clams worth of aircrafts sold.. But don't get too excited these planes take years to build kind of like my latest prank on Skinner… it's still in development. Turns out even when the world's going nuts people still need to fly... or at least order the planes they *might* fly in someday. Weird huh?

Meta's Missed Opportunity!

In other news that Zuckerberg dude tried to buy some AI startup from an OpenAI guy but he got the cold shoulder faster than you can say 'Eat my shorts!'. So Zuck went crawling back to some other guys in his venture capital firm who I am sure are just as boring as him.

Japan's Inflation Explosion!

Japan's inflation is higher than Ralph Wiggum's chances of becoming class president. The Bank of Japan is just sitting there like Chief Wiggum at a donut shop not doing anything. Something needs to change or this will become a crisis.

AI Overlords Incoming!

And finally some Chinese AI avatars are selling more stuff than real people! These digital dudes raked in over $7 million in just seven hours. That’s more money than I’ve ever seen except maybe when I found Mr. Burns’ wallet. Seriously if robots are gonna take over the world at least they'll have good taste in consumer electronics. Cowabunga dudes!