Cowabunga Dude! Alphabet's Raaking in the Dough!
Hey man Bart Simpson here bringing you the 4 1 1 on Alphabet you know Google's parents. They just dropped their report card and it's like way better than my last one. Revenue hit $90.23 billion which is more than Skinner's ever seen in his lifetime! Even better they earned $2.81 per share. Milhouse is having a lemonade stand to try and make that much but like never gonna happen!
YouTube Ads: Doh! Almost Nailed It!
So YouTube ads almost made it but didn't hit the mark. It was like when I almost landed that skateboard trick over the Springfield Gorge but ended up eating dirt. They raked in $8.93 billion which is still more than I could ever make selling my soul… I mean comics to Comic Book Guy.
Google Cloud: Up Up and Away!
Google Cloud’s like Lisa's brain always growing. They made $12.26 billion which is pretty sweet. It grew 28% year over year! Maybe I should ditch the skateboard and learn how to code in the cloud. Nah where's the fun in that?
AI Overviews: Eat My Shorts Competition!
Alphabet's AI Overviews thingy which is kinda like a super smart computer now has 1.5 billion users every month. It's like everyone in the world wants to be smarter than Bart Simpson which is like impossible! I mean who else can think up such awesome pranks?
Trump's Trade Move: Aw Man!
So this dude Philipp Schindler is bummed 'cause Trump is changing some rules about trade. Something about cheap stuff from China costing more. He thinks it's gonna mess with their ad money next year. Sounds like someone's gonna have a bad hair day!
Waymo's Wild Ride: Pedal to the Metal!
Those self driving cars from Waymo are giving rides like crazy! They're up to 250,000 rides a week! Maybe I can program one to drive straight to Krusty Burger… without stopping at school of course.
Comments
From Bart Simpson
Breaking News
All Rights Reserved © 2023
matild
Self-driving cars? That's the future, man!
adewise1
Is anyone else worried about AI taking over the world?
millzyess
Cowabunga!
wcasas
Sounds like Alphabet is doing just fine!
mottii
Maybe Lisa wrote this article.
bkg1104
Eat my shorts, Wall Street!
dangquangtvu25
This is more boring than my job.
mypoobear1946
I bet Bart Simpson could come up with some hilarious AI pranks.
paulsocier44
D'oh! Another company getting richer.