Ay Caramba! A New Tariff Floor?
Alright dudes and dudettes Bart Simpson here reporting live from... well not exactly live. More like 'slightly delayed because I was busy pranking Skinner' reporting! So President Trump that dude with the uh unique hairstyle says 10% is like the absolute lowest he'll go on tariffs for countries wanting to play ball with Uncle Sam. Ten percent! That's like ten times the amount of detention slips I got last week! And he says some might be even higher! Cowabunga that's harsh!
The UK Gets a Pass (Almost)!
Apparently the UK is in Trump's good books... for now! His Truth Social which sounds like a place where Pinocchio hangs out blabbed that the UK's tariffs will stay at the basic 10%. Trump says it's 'cause they're all respectful and stuff. I bet they don't even TP houses over there. Talk about boring!
Respect? What's That?
Trump was all 'The UK they always treated us with great respect.' Which got me thinking what IS respect? Is it like when Milhouse shares his candy? Or when Lisa doesn't rat me out to Mom? Nah probably not. It's probably some grown up thing I wouldn't understand man.
Not a Template Man!
Some reporter dude asked if the UK deal was a 'template' for future deals and Trump was all 'No no!' Like whoa mixed signals much? He says 10% is a 'low number' because the UK made a 'good deal'. Sounds like even Trump's not entirely sure what's going on here!
Massive Trade Surpluses: The Real Enemy?
Trump's also whining about countries with 'massive trade surpluses' who 'didn't treat us right.' Sounds like someone needs a Krusty Burger and a nap! Maybe he should just prank those countries instead of slapping on tariffs. A well placed stink bomb can solve anything right?
Don't Have a Cow Man!
So there you have it folks. More tariffs more trade talk and more for me to ignore while I skateboard around Springfield. Remember kids: stay in school... I can't stress that enough or you'll end up like me! Doh! I mean... Cowabunga!
Donald Trump tariffs trade agreements United Kingdom imports trade surplus US economy international trade Truth Social Oval Office
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AAaaAAaa
I need an adult.
Galporto
This is the best news reporting ever!
EarnTweeting
Excellent!
m4tthew
Ay, caramba!
somecowgirl
Okay, who let Bart write this?
inkbaubles
I can't believe I'm reading news written by Bart Simpson.