Eat My Shorts Tariffs! Japan and U.S. Trade Talk Tango!

Prime Minister's Big Plan: Don't Have a Cow Man!

Hey what's up dudes! Bart Simpson here reporting live from… well not really live. But I totally hacked into this news feed to tell you about what Japan's Prime Minister Ishiba is up to. Turns out he's trying to get a tariff deal done with the U.S. before the G 7 summit. Talk about 'Ay caramba!' levels of seriousness. Apparently they're hoping to avoid any more economic wedgies from each other.

Negotiations? More Like Negoti hations!

So this top tariff dude Akazawa has been yapping with the Americans in Washington for the third time. Ishiba says they're making progress talking about trade and economic security and all that jazz. Sounds like a real snooze fest if you ask me. But hey gotta keep the adults happy right? Otherwise no allowance for Krusty the Clown merch! I sure hope they don't make things worse or Homer might start selling plutonium again.

Trump Card: Phone Calls and Summit Dreams!

Apparently Ishiba and Trump had a 45 minute chat on the phone. Can you imagine? Two world leaders yakking about security and tariffs. Probably more interesting than Principal Skinner's lectures though. They're hoping to meet in person at the G 7 summit. Maybe I can sneak in and replace Trump's water with itching powder. Now that's what I call diplomacy!

Shipbuilding Shenanigans: Icebreakers and Warships Oh My!

Here's where things get kinda cool. Japan's offering to help the U.S. with shipbuilding. The U.S. wants Japan to fix their warships and Japan's all like 'Sure we're good at that!' Plus they're apparently pros at icebreakers which are perfect for Arctic trade routes. Sounds like a great way to make some cold hard cash if you ask me. Unless of course the Russians show up then it's 'Hasta la vista Bart y!'

Akazawa's Airport Announcement: Nothing's Agreed Until Everything Is!

Akazawa fresh off the plane dropped some truth bombs at the airport. He said that nothing's agreed upon until EVERYTHING is agreed upon. Sounds like a real 'doh!' moment waiting to happen. He's playing it super safe not giving away any secrets. Probably because he knows I'm listening. Gotta protect those tariffs man! I'm sure he is as nervous as Homer at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Gonna Get This Done. Or Not!

So there you have it! Japan and the U.S. trying to figure out their trade situation before the G 7 summit. Will they succeed? Who knows! But one thing's for sure: I'll be watching ready to prank whoever messes it up. Eat my shorts tariffs! Bart Simpson out!