Eat My Shorts, Iran! Trump Nukes Nuclear Sites, World Freaks Out!

Trump Declares Victory (D'oh!)

Alright dudes! Bart Simpson here your favorite chronicler of Springfieldian (and now apparently global) events. So like President Trump remember him? The guy with the hair that looks like a nuclear explosion frozen in time? Well he went and did a whoopsie! He nuked some nuclear sites in Iran. Yeah you heard me right! He hopped on Truth Social – whatever that is probably something Milhouse uses – and bragged about a 'very successful attack.' He even said it was a 'HISTORIC MOMENT'! Historic like the time I replaced Principal Skinner's coffee with onion soup. Only you know way more explosive. D'oh!

Netanyahu's Bromance with Trump (Cowabunga!)

Turns out Israel's Prime Minister Netanyahu is totally stoked about the whole thing. He's all like 'Trump's bold decision will change history!' Sounds like someone's been hanging out in the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant a little too long if you ask me. 'Peace through strength,' he blabbed. Sounds like something Krusty the Clown would say between puffs of a cigarette. Cowabunga!

UN Chief's Got a Case of the Mondays (Don't Have a Cow Man!)

But hold your horses folks! Not everyone's doing the happy dance. The United Nations Secretary General some dude named Antonio Guterres is having a major meltdown. He's warning that this bombing is a 'dangerous escalation' and could lead to 'catastrophic consequences.' Catastrophic like when Milhouse tries to be cool. He's blabbing about 'no military solution' and 'diplomacy.' Sounds like a real buzzkill if you ask me. Don't have a cow man!

Venezuela and Cuba Throw Shade (Ay Caramba!)

Venezuela and Cuba are totally throwing shade calling the whole thing a 'dangerous escalation' and a violation of international law. They're all doom and gloom saying it 'plunges humanity into a crisis with irreversible consequences.' Irreversible like the time I glued Lisa's saxophone to the ceiling. Ay caramba!

Mexico Calls for a Time Out (Nobody Likes Milhouse!)

Even Mexico is getting in on the action calling for a 'diplomatic dialogue for peace.' They're all about 'de escalating tensions' and 'peaceful coexistence.' Sounds like they want everyone to just chill out and watch a little Scratchy and Itchy if you ask me. Nobody Likes Milhouse!

South Korea's Emergency Meeting (I Didn't Do It!)

And get this – South Korea is having an emergency meeting to figure out what's going on! Sounds like a real international crisis. I bet they wish they had someone like me to come up with a solution. Maybe I should prank call Trump and tell him to just 'Eat My Shorts!' That'll solve everything right? I Didn't Do It!