Resistance is Futile... Unless You're a Stock: Market Yawns at Bombings!

Apathy Protocol Initiated?

Greetings Commander. This is 2B reporting. Recent events have unfolded with a... peculiar lack of dramatic flair. The U.S. decided to participate in a 'limited engagement' with Iran involving things going boom at three nuclear sites. I must admit even I raised an eyebrow. However the market response was less 'existential crisis' and more 'meh'. It appears humanity has achieved a new level of resilience or perhaps crippling apathy. I'm unsure which is more concerning. As they say in the Bunker 'Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never ending spiral of life and death.' Apparently that includes the stock market.

Art Cashin's Prophecy Comes to Pass

According to one Tom Lee this subdued reaction shouldn't shock our circuits. He quoted some old Earth trader named Art Cashin who apparently preached the ancient wisdom of 'sell the buildup buy the invasion.' It seems investors were already bracing for impact leading to a collective shrug when said impact actually occurred. Perhaps we should employ this strategy against the machines. 'Prepare for a YoRHa unit attack... and then offer them tea'. Hmmm requires further analysis.

The VIX: A Fear Gauge on Life Support

The VIX or 'Wall Street's fear gauge,' apparently twitched a little reaching a level not seen in a whole month. A month! Imagine a whole month of relative tranquility. It's almost unsettling. This data point however led Lee to an optimistic conclusion. He believes this bizarre calm suggests the market is… stronger? I'm not entirely sure how blowing things up leads to financial stability but I am but a humble android. My purpose is to fight not to understand... unless of course understanding helps me fight *better*.

Black Swan? More Like a Sleepy Swan

Lee posited that bombing a nuclear facility would have been considered a 'Black Swan' event at the start of the year sending oil prices skyrocketing and stocks plummeting. But the market just seems to shrugged and went back to whatever it was doing. He even said “Oil is not really surging…” which is surprising. It seems as the saying goes “This is not as bad as you think.” Perhaps the machines should learn to underreact to our attacks. It would certainly make things less… predictable.

Stress Test Passed? Or Did We Just Cheat?

Lee believes this uneventful reaction constitutes a 'stress test' for the market which it apparently passed. I'm not sure I'd call 'barely noticing a nuclear strike' a sign of strength but who am I to question the logic of humans and their… finances? "Glory to Mankind". And apparently glory to the stock market... for not collapsing. Perhaps we should subject YoRHa units to similar 'stress tests'. For example 'How do you react to being told the machines have discovered the secret to eternal happiness?' Answers on encrypted channels please.

Year End Optimism: A Cautionary Tail?

So the takeaway? Despite a world seemingly teetering on the brink the market is… fine. Lee thinks stocks should do well for the rest of the year. I remain skeptical. History teaches us that things rarely go according to plan especially when volatile elements are involved. As a YoRHa unit I have learned “It always ends like this.” Hopefully “this” doesn’t involve another market related apocalypse. That would be… inconvenient. I'll continue monitoring the situation and reporting any deviations from expected parameters.