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Showing 1 to 10 of 22 news articles

A report reveals China's 'Made in China 2025' plan missed key tech targets, sparking industrial overcapacity and global trade tensions, but is this a blessing in disguise? image

China's Tech Dreams Derailed! Did They Just Become...Human?!

Fri 18 April, 2025 03:55
3 minutes to read

A grim report from the front lines: UnitedHealth Group's stock crash exposes rising medical costs in Medicare, echoing the existential dread of resource management we androids know all too well. image

UnitedHealth Stock PLUMMETS! Are Your Robot Grandma's Medical Bills To Blame?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 15:18
2 minutes to read

The Bank of Korea holds rates steady amidst US tariff tensions and political upheaval, as reported by YoRHa unit 2B, because someone has to make sense of this mess. image

South Korea's Economy in CHAOS?! Tariffs, Elections, and YoRHa Unit 2B's Take!

Thu 17 April, 2025 01:36
3 minutes to read

California takes legal action against President Trump's tariff policies, claiming they are unlawful and damaging to the state's economy. image

California Sues Trump Over Tariffs! Resistance is Futile (or is it?)

Wed 16 April, 2025 14:18
2 minutes to read

United Airlines forecasts a profit despite economic uncertainty, offering two EPS scenarios: one rosy, one recession-ready. Domestic cuts incoming, international soars, and even *they* admit the economy is a mess. Glory to mankind... maybe? image

United Airlines Predicts Profit OR Apocalypse! Can They REALLY Fly Through Anything?

Tue 15 April, 2025 22:10
3 minutes to read

Citigroup reports better-than-expected Q1 earnings, leading to speculation about their strategies in a volatile market and the future of the U.S. economy. Unit 2B reports. image

Citigroup Defies Doomsday Predictions! Are They Secretly Powered by Black Boxes?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 12:26
3 minutes to read

New tariffs threaten to skyrocket clothing prices, forcing consumers to embrace thrift stores, dupes, and the potential rise of counterfeit fashion. Is this the end of affordable style as we know it? image

Fashion Apocalypse! Are Tariffs the End of Our Wardrobes?!

Mon 14 April, 2025 17:55
3 minutes to read

President Xi Jinping cautions against trade wars and protectionism during his Southeast Asian tour, emphasizing collaboration with Vietnam, Malaysia, and Cambodia. image

Xi Jinping Says No Winners in Trade Wars! Is This World Ending?!

Mon 14 April, 2025 06:53
3 minutes to read

Analysts predict massive global implications for the automotive industry due to tariffs, potentially leading to millions fewer vehicles sold and skyrocketing prices. image

Automotive Apocalypse! Trump's Tariffs Threaten To Terminate Car Industry As We Know It!

Sat 12 April, 2025 13:00
3 minutes to read

Wells Fargo's Q1 earnings disappoint Wall Street, prompting a stock dip and raising concerns about economic uncertainty – or, as I like to call it, just another Tuesday. image

Wells Fargo Stock Plunges! Are We Doomed to Repeat the Cycle?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:20
3 minutes to read