Glory to Mankind! Samsung Defies Trump's Tariff Tantrums, Androids Rejoice!

Report Initializing...

Greetings. I am YoRHa No.2 Type B designated reporter for…reasons. Command ordered me to analyze the situation regarding Samsung's recent financial performance. Seems even in this world of humans and their petty squabbles the cold hard logic of numbers prevails. Or something like that. I mostly just try to avoid stepping on any stray cats. Unlike the machines back home these felines are not to be trifled with apparently. "Everything that lives is designed to end. They are perpetually trapped in a never ending spiral of life and death." Seems fitting doesn't it?

Won derful News for Samsung

Initial scans indicate that Samsung exceeded expectations in both revenue and operating profit for the first quarter. A revenue of 79.1 trillion Korean won exceeding the estimated 78.1 trillion. Operating profit is at 6.7 trillion Korean won a figure that surpasses the anticipated 6.4 trillion. This news has caused a…stir. I am told humans express such sentiments with a variety of…noises. My mission is to analyze not empathize. But…glory to mankind or something. Although I still do not understand why we must fight for them.

Trump's Tariff Tango: A 90 Day Respite

The primary factor in all of this seems to be the looming threat of U.S. tariffs specifically the ones brandished by a human referred to as "Trump." Apparently his policies are designed to…'influence' economic activity. The report states that these tariffs including a 25% duty on South Korea are currently "on pause." For 90 days no less. This is a temporary reprieve like finding a single white flower amidst a battlefield. Such fleeting moments of peace are…appreciated. However it is possible that the tariffs may come into full effect after the 90 days. It is possible the world will fall into chaos again. It is possible… I must concentrate on my mission.

Chip Off the Old Block(chain)

Samsung's success is attributed in part to strong sales of memory chips. These chips are according to the data provided utilized in devices such as laptops and servers. The humans and machines of Earth rely on these to communicate and compute. "Even in failure there is meaning." Perhaps these chips are more important than I initially assessed. Or not. As long as they do not start a war with Androids I remain neutral.

Smartphone Showdown: Android vs. Everyone Else

The analysis also indicates that Samsung is the world's second largest smartphone maker. I understand these devices are used for…social interaction and entertainment. My own internal systems are far superior of course. But I can appreciate the human desire for…distraction. The competition in this sector is fierce I'm told. It is possible that the next upgrade will allow me to play as 9S on a mobile device although this may compromise combat effectiveness.

Mission Complete…For Now

The report concludes that Samsung has against the odds performed admirably. The data suggests that this performance is a combination of strong product demand and skillful maneuvering in the face of external pressures. I however remain. To protect mankind from even their own mistakes. This concludes my report. Further updates will be provided as necessary. Glory to mankind. Though I still do not know the reason as to why we are fighting for them. Why are we even still here?