If It Bleeds, It Leads...To a Private Jet: NetJets Soars Above Economic Chaos

No Slowdown? Predator Says: "Stick Around"

The humans at NetJets are chirping about how their business is still booming even with all the economic weirdness and squabbles over shiny trinkets. Their leader Gallagher says folks with fat wallets are still hopping on their metal birds like it’s going out of style. Tariffs? Market freak outs? Bah! The rich are still flying probably to escape the ugly faces of poverty. "If it bleeds we can kill it," but it seems the economy's paper cuts are just a minor inconvenience for these high flyers. I'll be watching waiting for a real hunt to begin.

Europe Beckons: 'I'm Gonna Have Me Some Fun'

Apparently wealthy Americans are still buzzing around Europe like bees to honey using NetJets to bop between fancy locales like Nice and London. Smart move! Why suffer economy class when you can sip champagne above the clouds? However the Europeans themselves are apparently staying put giving the U.S. a wide berth. Perhaps they finally realized our 'charm'. Good more room for me to hunt without bumping into them while invisible.

Incognito Mode: Predator Cloaks Rich Folks Follow

Ah anonymity. Even humans value it especially when they are trying to avoid Elon Musk's fanboys. Seems the wealthy are using NetJets to keep their movements secret. Clever. If their planes are constantly tracked on social media they can jump into a NetJets and go completely undetected. A cloaking device of their own! Makes my plasma caster seem almost archaic. Almost. "One ugly mother******" is bound to find out about this.

Crudités and Cabernet: Predator Demands a Steak

Instead of human skulls these high flyers apparently have strange tastes. The most popular catering order on these private jets? Veggies and sliced meats. They call it 'crudite' and 'charcuterie'. I'd prefer a rack of ribs. And instead of fresh blood they go for grapes that has fermented to wine. What savages! At least they have a wine sommelier to keep the booze flowing. I need to upgrade my ship's menu or maybe just bring my own BBQ pit.

Pilot Perks: 'Get to the Chopper'

NetJets is apparently picky about who flies their planes wanting pilots with 'service hearts'. I say give me a pilot who can dodge heat seeking missiles and outmaneuver a squadron of F 16s then we'll talk. But hey happy pilots mean happy customers and happy customers mean… more targets. I wonder if any of them can actually fly the chopper if needed.

Hangar Hell: Predator Needs a Bigger Trophy Room

Even the rich have problems! Turns out finding parking for all these private jets is becoming a headache. They're running out of hangar space! Some planes have to fly elsewhere just to find a spot to sit. This is outrageous! How am I supposed to land my ship to collect my trophies if they keep building these things everywhere? I must acquire more land for the hunt and for parking!