Odin's Delay! Amazon's Space Dreams Grounded... For Now!

The Gods Are Angry!

By Odin's beard! Word reaches me that Amazon those merchants who deliver trinkets to your door are struggling to get their shiny toys into the sky. They call it 'Project Kuiper,' this scheme to sprinkle the heavens with their metal birds promising to bring the internet to every corner of Midgard... and beyond! But the gods of Florida it seems are not amused. They've sent rain and wind fierce enough to keep even my longships ashore and these delicate rockets of theirs are grounded!

Like Herding Sheep... In Space!

United Launch Alliance these are the shipbuilders entrusted with carrying Amazon's dreams claims it's 'multiple weather delays.' Ha! They are as predictable as the sunrise. They say the launch is pushed back to June 16th. I say what's a few more days when you're battling the very sky itself? These delays reminds me of the time Floki tried to teach a walrus to fetch. Utter chaos I tell you!

27 Metal Birds Grounded!

It seems they've already sent 27 of these Kuiper trinkets soaring in April but the new launch to get another 27 is having issues of multiple weather delays! A mere 54 in total! To reach Valhalla you must have courage and strength but to conquer space you need also patience and luck. They aim to build over 3,000 of these things? By the gods that's a lot of metal to fling at the sky.

Musk's Longship vs. Bezos' Barge

And here comes the real battle! This Amazon is wrestling with the space dragon Elon Musk whose 'Starlink' already litters the heavens. Musk is a cunning Viking and these Americans are now realizing that space is not for the faint of heart. It is all about the glory.

The Clock is Ticking...

They have until 2026 to launch half of their tin cans according to whatever law these Americans follows. What a game of the gods this is! If they fail they will look like fools! I have seen this before where arrogance takes over they get drunk in their own success and they fail to see the bigger picture. As I always say 'I don't believe in the Gods. I believe in myself.' But maybe a small sacrifice to Thor wouldn't hurt eh?

To Valhalla... Eventually!

So Amazon's space dreams are on hold. For now. Let them learn a lesson these earthbound merchants. The skies belong to the bold the patient and those who know when to appease the weather gods. And of course those who build a good longship. Now where's my ale? I have a world to conquer… or at least a good raiding trip to plan.