Google Cloud Goes Down? Sad! We Need to Investigate This Witch Hunt!

The Cloud Folks It's a Disaster!

So Google Cloud which frankly I've always said was overrated had a massive outage. HUGE. The biggest outage maybe ever. People are saying it believe me. All these 'internet services' went down it's a total disaster. They're saying it started at 10:51 a.m. PT and their 'engineering team' is 'investigating.' Sounds like a witch hunt to me! A total witch hunt!

Amazon and Microsoft Are Laughing Bigly!

This Kurian guy he's leading the cloud unit. I don't know him but let me tell you he's not doing a very good job. Amazon Web Services and Microsoft Azure are probably laughing all the way to the bank. They're eating Google's lunch believe me. It's sad! Very sad! We need to make Google Cloud great again!

Shopify and ChatGPT? Losers!

Even Shopify and OpenAI those losers were affected. Shopify is crying about 'an issue impacting several services.' And ChatGPT which is highly overrated by the way had problems with their login. Sad! These companies should be using better technology frankly. The best technology. We have the best technology everyone knows that.

Downdetector? More Like Fake News Detector!

Downdetector you know that website that's always reporting bad news? They said over 13,000 incidents were reported. 13,000! It's probably more like 13 million. But who knows with these guys? They're probably part of the deep state trying to make Google look bad. Very unfair!

Alphabet Layoffs? They Should Have Called Me!

And get this Alphabet the company that owns Google has been doing layoffs. Layoffs! They should have called me. I know how to make deals. I would have saved those jobs believe me. But no they're too busy firing people. It's a disgrace!

Cloudflare? A Total Mess!

Even Cloudflare which is supposed to be a major web security company had problems. They said it was a 'Google cloud outage.' A TOTAL MESS!. Their stock fell 5%. That's what happens when you rely on Google folks. You become a loser. Always remember only I can fix it.