Amazon's Earnings? HUGE! Tariffs? Even HUGER! (And I'm Always Right, Believe Me!)

Analysts Schmalyists! I Know More Than They Do.

So Amazon's about to drop their Q1 numbers and all these 'experts' are chirping about what to expect. EPS? Revenue? Who cares! The REAL story is how my brilliant tariffs are going to MAGA fy their bottom line! They're saying $1.36 EPS and $155.04 billion in revenue? We'll see! Maybe it'll be bigger maybe it'll be HUGE. These are the same people who said I couldn't win the election! SAD!

My Tariffs? A Work of Art. Beautiful. The Best!

Now they're whining about how my 145% levy on China might impact Amazon's margins. Listen folks these are the best tariffs the most beautiful tariffs you've ever seen! They're going to make America great again and if Amazon's got a problem they can figure it out! They're smart people very smart. Maybe not as smart as me but still smart.

Fake News! Amazon Loves My Tariffs (Secretly)

The Fake News is saying Amazon was going to show customers how much my tariffs cost them! Can you believe it? They were gonna blame ME! But then they totally folded. Said it 'was never approved.' That's what happens when you mess with the best. They know I'm always watching always winning. And by the way if prices DO go up because of tariffs it just means people can afford it! The economy is doing GREAT!

Amazon's CEO? He Gets It (Sort Of).

Even Amazon's CEO Andy Jassy admitted that some third party sellers might have to pass the cost of tariffs to consumers. See? He gets it! He knows I'm doing the right thing. But don't worry folks I'm always looking out for the little guy. That's why I'm making China pay! Sleepy Joe wouldn't do that would he? No way!

Short Term Boost? Long Term WIN!

The analysts even the dumb ones are saying my tariffs might give Amazon a short term boost because people are stocking up. Well of course! Everyone knows a Trump tariff is a good tariff! But it's not just a short term thing folks. This is about the long game. About making America dominant. About winning winning winning! And they are also starting to see how the closing of the de minimis loophole with companies like Shein and Temu only benefits AMAZON because AMAZON is AMERICA!!!

AI? Cloud? Who Cares! Just Win!

They're also talking about Amazon's cloud business and AI investments. Fine. Whatever. Just make sure they're winning. That's all that matters. Winning! And if they're not winning they should call me. I know a thing or two about winning. I wrote the book on it! Literally I did. And by the way Amazon stock is down? Don't worry it'll bounce back. Everything I touch turns to gold. Believe me!