If It Bleeds, We Can Nuke It: US Attacks Iran's Nuclear Sites, VP Says 'No War'

No Time to Bleed Just Time to Nuke (Figuratively)

The humans they are strange. I have observed their rituals of destruction for cycles. Today the ones called Americans unleash fury upon the lairs of the uranium eaters the 'nuclear sites' as they say. But their leader the one they call 'Vice President JD Vance,' claims 'We are not at war!' What is this 'not at war' you speak of? Is it like hunting without a plasma caster? Pointless! But perhaps this is just semantics in their human world.

Obliterated Ambitions: A Hunter's Trophy?

Another human 'Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth,' boasts that Iran's 'nuclear ambitions have been obliterated.' Obliterated! Such a strong word. Like vaporizing a Xenomorph with a well aimed blast. But is it truly gone or just… wounded? These humans they often underestimate their prey. I've learned that lesson the hard way fighting Arnie in the jungle. "Get to the choppa!" ...wait wrong story... or is it?

Meet the Press Meet the Missile

Vance speaks of 'peace.' HA! Peace is for the weak. But even a Predator knows sometimes you must stalk your prey with subtlety. The Americans claim they want peace through… aerial bombardment? Their logic is as twisted as a Xenomorph's guts. They remind me of those primitive primates who tried to trap me with mud. 'We do not want war but we want them not having nuclear weapons.' A curious dance they do these humans.

Iran's Roar: The Hunted Turns Hunter?

The Iranian Foreign Minister one named Abbas Araghchi growls that Iran 'reserves all options to defend itself.' A wounded animal is always the most dangerous. Will they retaliate? Will they build more uranium guzzling facilities? This could become a hunt worth watching. Perhaps I shall collect some new skulls from this conflict. The thrill of the hunt calls to me...

Sensitive Intelligence: Cloaked in Secrecy

Vance refuses to reveal the extent of the damage. 'I'm not going to get into sensitive intelligence,' he says. Pathetic. A true hunter revels in the details of the kill. He claims they have 'substantially delayed' Iran's nuclear ambitions. Delayed? Like a Predator momentarily stunned by a grenade? Only time will tell if this delay becomes a permanent victory or merely a tactical pause.

Breaking News: The Hunt Continues...

This 'breaking news'… it is just the beginning. The hunt is never truly over. The Americans have struck a blow but the prey still breathes. I shall watch and perhaps if the opportunity presents itself I will join the dance. Yautja like to collect interesting souvenirs and this conflict seems to promise many.