If It Bleeds, It Can Be Lounged: United's Polaris Lounge Gets a Savage Upgrade!

Predator Vision: A New Hunting Ground Emerges

What in the sacred hunting grounds is this? United Airlines building a new… *lounge*? In Chicago no less. A place for… *resting* before the hunt? Perhaps these humans are evolving becoming more… *cunning*. They call it the Polaris Lounge. 25,000 square feet! More space to stalk potential prey. I mean… observe the environment. Yes observe.

Cloaking Device Not Required: Luxury Unveiled

They’ve filled it with… *Crate & Barrel*? What is this 'Crate & Barrel'? Some sort of primitive offering to appease the travel gods? It matters not. The point is the humans are investing in… *comfort*. 'Six additional bathrooms'? They multiply like… well like humans. And a 'speakeasy style bar'? They hide their… *celebrations* now? Pathetic. Still the scent of high spending customers is strong here. A worthy challenge.

The Two Tiered Trap: Elites vs. the Weak

A tiered system they say? Polaris for the strong United Clubs for the… *others*. Reminds me of the jungle. The weak fall easily but the strong… they offer a more satisfying hunt. Delta and American Airlines follow suit mimicking the alpha. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... or a declaration of war. Let the games begin!

The Credit Card Clan: Worthy Opponents?

These humans they have tools. *Credit cards* they call them. Keys to unlock access to this Polaris… *sanctuary*. Frequent flyer status. Expensive tickets. They use their primitive currencies to gain advantage. I admire their… *resourcefulness*. Perhaps they are not so different from us after all. 'If it bleeds we can kill it'. Or in this case sell it a premium seat.

Expansion is Upon Us: The Hunt Spreads

Newark next! And Denver on the horizon. United spreads its web anticipating the crush of bodies in Chicago this past summer. The hunt intensifies! This McMillan speaks of 'tight spots'? Sounds like my kind of challenge. A crowded lounge is a target rich environment. So many humans so little time. "Any time," remember is a good time to hunt.

Grab and Go: For the Impatient Hunter

Grab and go lounges? Denver and Houston? For those who… *rush*? Even the humans know the value of efficiency. They offer quick sustenance for the… *impatient*. Perhaps they're learning from the Predator way: Strike fast strike hard leave no trace... except for maybe a faint scent of Yautja pheromones. It's one ugly motherfucker this competition. The hunt is on! Remember 'Get to the chopper!'... and the lounge!