This Tax Bill is RAW! Trump's Fiscal Fiasco Fuels Freedom Caucus Fury!

Sixteen Hours in Hell's Kitchen!

Right listen up you DONKEYS! Sixteen hours in the Rules Committee? What is this amateur hour? My restaurants run smoother than this shambles! Johnson's self imposed deadline? Looks like he's cooked his goose before he even got to the soufflé! 'Where to go from here?' he asks. I'll tell you where to go: straight to culinary school because this ain't cutting it! This whole tax bill situation is drier than a week old Christmas turkey!

White House SOS: Trump's Last Ditch Attempt

A 'hastily arranged effort to unify the conference'? Sounds more like a desperate scramble to save a dish gone completely sideways. Trump's 'big beautiful' tax bill is turning into a big ugly mess! Trying to force it through before the holiday weekend? Mate you're pushing it! This isn't a blooming burger; it's a bloody financial policy! And if it's rushed it will taste like donkey's... well you know.

Markets in Meltdown: The Fiscal F*** Up

Markets tumbling? A 5.09% yield on the 30 year Treasury bond? Are you kidding me? This is a financial disaster waiting to happen! Exploding federal deficits? Weaker long term fiscal health? It's like serving a plate of raw chicken and expecting everyone to be happy! Someone needs to get a grip before the whole damn thing goes up in flames! This debt and deficit are absolutely mental.

Freedom Caucus Fury: Too Many Chefs in the Kitchen!

The Freedom Caucus wielding enough votes to sink the whole damn thing? Good on them! Someone has to stand up when the dish is clearly inedible. This isn't about politics; it's about responsible governance! 'Best possible form'? This bill is so far from 'best' it's not even in the same postcode! Time to scrap it and start again before you poison the whole nation!

Trump's Denial: 'It's Very Close'?

'We're doing really well it's very close,' says Trump. Close to what? Bankruptcy? Utter chaos? Mate you're delusional! This bill is further away from 'done' than I am from opening a vegan restaurant! It's like saying a burnt toast is 'close' to a Michelin star breakfast! Get your head out of the clouds and face reality!

Medicaid Mayhem: Don't F*** Around!

Trump's warning: 'Don't f around with Medicaid.' Good. Someone is finally talking some sense. Cutting healthcare for low income people? That's beyond the pale! This isn't a game; it's people's lives! Focus on fixing the recipe not screwing over the vulnerable. Now where's the lamb sauce? Because someone's about to get a right bollocking!