McDonald's is Raw! US Sales Take a Big Mac-Sized Plunge!

What in the McNugget is Going On?

Right let's get one thing straight. I've seen some shocking things in kitchens but this McDonald's report? It's enough to make a grown man weep! A 3.6% drop in U.S. same store sales? Are you taking the mickey? That's their biggest domestic decline since the bloody pandemic! It seems the only thing consistent at McDonald's is their inconsistency! What happened? Did they run out of bloody salt for the fries or something?

Blame the Weather? You Donkey!

They're blaming bad weather and 'cautious consumers'? Oh come off it! That's like blaming the dog for eating your homework. Weather's weather and consumers are always cautious when they're being served bloody rubbish! I bet the buns were stale the meat was tougher than an old boot and the service was slower than a snail on a Sunday morning. Wake up McDonald's! The problem isn't the weather; it's the food!

Leap Day? More Like a Leap into the Abyss!

A 1% drop across all markets because of last year's Leap Day? Are you having a laugh? That's the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard! If I served up an excuse like that in one of my kitchens I'd fire myself! It's not the calendar; it's the lack of creativity and passion in your kitchens. You need to innovate you need to inspire and you certainly need to stop blaming the bloody Leap Day!

Value Meals? Are You Serious?

Value meals and 'buzzy menu items' like snack wraps? That's your big plan? Honestly it sounds like a desperate attempt to throw something at the wall and hope it sticks. Where's the bloody innovation? Where's the bloody passion? Give people something they actually want not just reheated leftovers from the 90s! Otherwise they will all keep saying 'I'm not paying for that!'

International Rescue or International Disaster?

Even internationally they're struggling! A 1% drop in international operated markets? That's not exactly setting the world on fire is it? And while their developmental markets are showing growth it's barely scraping by. The whole operation needs a bloody shake up! You are serving slop!

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee (That Isn't Yours)!

Opening 2,200 locations and spending billions? All the bloody money in the world won't fix a fundamentally flawed product. They need to go back to basics focus on quality ingredients and start cooking with passion. Otherwise they'll be facing more than just a dip in sales; they'll be facing a culinary apocalypse! Now get out and go cook something decent for once!