McMansions are BACK?! Are We Doomed to Repeat the Past!

Another Bug Hunt?

Alright people listen up. Ripley here. Seems like we've got another situation brewing only this time it ain't Xenomorphs...it's McMansions. You remember those monstrosities from the late 20th century? The ones that looked like they were designed by a committee of real estate agents and Borg cubes? Well according to some bright sparks they're making a comeback. I thought we learned our lesson after the housing crash in '07 but apparently some folks just can't resist a shiny oversized target. Just like the Company going after LV 426 some things never change...and they usually end up ugly.

Big House Bigger Problems?

So these 'McMansions' are supposedly the 'dream homes' of today all movie theaters and 'great rooms'. Kate Wagner this architecture critic calls them out for being built with cheap materials and mass produced junk. Stucco fake stone vinyl siding… sounds like the kind of stuff they'd use to patch up the Nostromo after a close encounter with a space slug. But hey Americans want bigger homes even if their families are shrinking. Go figure. It's like having a whole colony and only one Xenomorph to hunt or maybe they want more rooms to hide from them?

Affordable Alien Traps?

According to some egghead from Realtor.com buying a home is 'seldom a bad investment,' even if it's a 'tacky suburban McMansion.' Well buddy I've seen 'seldom' turn into a facehugger faster than you can say 'chestburster.' But he's got a point maybe. With housing inventory low and construction costs skyrocketing these oversized shacks might be the only affordable option for some first time buyers. It's like being trapped in a derelict ship and thinking the only way out is through a nest of aliens there has to be a better way…

Space for the Facehuggers?

Apparently US has been building less homes since the '07 crisis and the gap between the number of homes and the number of families is almost 4 million. So these McMansions are like the last lifeboat on a sinking ship. Real estate agents are even seeing bidding wars over them especially in the suburbs near big cities. It's like everyone is scrambling to find a safe place to hide from the next economic chestburster.

Houston We Have a Problem… Again

So what's the verdict? Are McMansions a necessary evil a sign of the times or just another way for the Company to squeeze every last penny out of us? I don't know about you but I'm not ready to trust anything that looks too good to be true. Especially if it's got more rooms than a Weyland Yutani research facility. Because we all know how that turns out.

Nuke it From Orbit?

Maybe the only way to be sure is to take off and nuke the entire housing market from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Okay maybe that's a bit extreme. But seriously people be careful out there. Do your research don't get blinded by shiny facades and always always have a backup plan. You never know when a McMansion might turn out to be a Xenomorph in disguise.