Aw, Phooey! Tesla's Back, Thanks to Daffy Driverless Cars!

What in the World is Goin' On?!

Aw phooey! Last week was a real doozy! Elon and that… that OTHER guy got into a fight and Tesla's stock went SPLAT! 14% down! Can you believe it? I almost lost my feathers! I was so mad I coulda… I coulda… well you get the picture! But hold on to your hats folks because it seems like Tesla is back in business! Like I always say 'I'm too busy to be in a hurry!'.

Driverless Dingbats on the Road!

Now this Elon fella he's been showin' off a video of Tesla testin' driverless cars in Austin Texas. Driverless! Can you imagine? No one at the wheel! Just a bunch of metal and wires zoomin' around. Makes ya wonder who's gonna honk the horn when someone cuts ya off? And what about those crazy drivers? They gonna be on their best behavior? I doubt it!

Robotaxi Roundup in Texas!

So seems like Tesla is finally gettin' ready to launch a driverless ride hailing service. They're callin' it a 'pilot' program but I call it…intriguing! They're gonna start small with just a few robotaxis but they're gonna be watchin' 'em like hawks. I wonder if they have a duck watching those screens? I'd sure be good at that and the best part is I don't even need supervision because 'nobody tells me what to do!'.

Musk vs. Trump: A Real Squabble!

Now about that fight between Elon and… well you know who. It was a real humdinger! Accusations flyin' every which way. Trump even said Elon was 'CRAZY'! Can you believe it? Me I try to stay out of politics. Too much quackin' and not enough action ya know? But that does not mean that I am not ready to throw a punch. Just as I always say 'I'm gonna explode!'

Investors say: 'Get Back to Work!'

All those fancy investors they want Elon to focus on Tesla. Sales were down in the first quarter and everyone's gettin' worried. But now that those driverless cars are gettin' closer they have a good feeling about it. Seems like 'a key component' is finally fallin' into place just like they always say.

Hold Your Horses… or Should I Say Your Ducks!

But some smarty pants professor says we shouldn't get too excited. He says we don't know enough about these driverless cars yet. Are they safe? How do they work? And how much do they cost? Good questions I say! I don't want to see anyone get hurt so please be careful out there. Be aware folks because 'I'm surrounded by idiots!'