Eat My Shorts, Shortage! Airplane Mechanic Jobs are Flyin' High!

Ay Caramba! Where Did All the Mechanics Go?

So I'm readin' this article right? And it's sayin' that all the airplane mechanics are gettin' old! Like super old! Apparently a bunch of 'em are gonna retire soon and then who's gonna fix the planes? Not me that's for sure! I got detention to serve! But seriously they're sayin' we're gonna be short like 25,000 mechanics by 2028! Twenty five thousand! That's like more than all the donuts Homer eats in a week! They're dropping like flies man just like Principal Skinner after one of Mom's pot roasts!

D'oh! The Covid Crash

Turns out when the whole world went bananas with that Covid thing a bunch of airplane companies gave the old guys the boot or offered them a golden parachute to get lost. Now they're all "Oops! We need those guys back!" Classic! It's like when Milhouse thinks he can ditch me for Lisa...always comes crawling back! Now they’re scrambling to find new grease monkeys.

High Tech or No Tech? That is the Question!

These airplane companies are trying to trick… err… I mean *encourage* young dudes like me to get into fixin' planes. They say it's all high tech now! Lasers and fancy metals and stuff. But let's be real it's still probably gonna involve gettin' greasy and hittin' things with a wrench right? I hope they have good vending machines at least! Better than the ones at Springfield Elementary that's for sure!

Cha Ching! Show Me the Money!

Alright here's the part that got my attention. These airplane mechanic gigs are payin' some serious cheddar! We're talkin' $80,000 to $90,000 a year to start! And some of those guys are pulling in $130,000 a year after a few years! That's enough to buy like a million Krusty Burgers! Maybe I should trade in my skateboard for a wrench...nah! Not yet!

Don't Have a Cow Man! It Ain't All Sunshine and Lollipops

The big wigs are saying that it's difficult to find workers because they don't want to pack their bags and move to places with job opportunities. Like duh! Who wants to leave Springfield? We got the Kwik E Mart Moe's Tavern and a nuclear power plant that's probably gonna melt down any minute! Besides some lady named Sarah MacLeod says that the whole world is going to feel this mechanic shortage… whatever that means!

Eat My Shorts College! Plane Fixin' School Here I Come?

So there's this school in Queens that's teachin' kids how to fix planes. They even get to work on real planes at the airport! That's way cooler than detention! One of the kids even said he might skip college to get right into the action. Hmmm...maybe I should pay attention in shop class for once. Just kidding! But hey free donuts sound good if I get this job! Bart Simpson: airplane mechanic. Has a nice ring to it don't you think?