Eat My Shorts, NHTSA! Tesla's Robotaxis Go Full Doh-Nut in Austin!

Ay Caramba! Robotaxis Gone Wild!

What's the deal with Tesla's new robotaxis in Austin? Turns out they're about as reliable as Milhouse trying to parallel park! Videos are popping up faster than Principal Skinner's bad toupee days showing these self driving jalopies doing everything but driving properly. We're talking wrong way shenanigans sudden braking that would make Otto the bus driver blush and general mayhem! It's like they're trying to star in their own 'Itchy & Scratchy Show' but with real cars and slightly less blood... okay maybe not less blood if they keep this up!

NHTSA on the Case: Don't Have a Cow Man!

Of course the fun police over at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) are poking around now. They're saying they're "aware of the referenced incidents" and are chatting with Tesla. Translation: They're gonna try to rain on Elon Musk's parade. But hey maybe they'll slip on a banana peel along the way. One can dream right? I mean who needs boring old safety when you can have a robot uprising on wheels?

Musk's Empty Promises: He's Got the Whole World in His Hands...NOT!

Remember when Elon said we'd have full self driving cars by like 2018? Or that one time he promised a cross country trip without a human behind the wheel? Yeah that's about as likely as Bart ever graduating from fourth grade. He promised a million robotaxis by 2020 making owners rich. Turns out those promises are more like Krusty the Clown's endorsement deals – all hype and no substance! It's a real 'Eat my shorts!' moment for anyone who believed the hype.

The 'Early Access' Circus: Sideshow Bob's Got Nothing on This!

Turns out these robotaxi rides are only for a select few mostly Tesla fanboys and shareholders who probably think Elon walks on water. Sounds like a real rigged game like when Homer cheated at that chili cook off! They're all part of Tesla's “early access program,” which sounds like a fancy way of saying 'beta testing with extra steps and a higher chance of crashing'. At least its only daylight hours and good weather. Probably wise considering Tesla's track record...

Waymo's Laughing: Ha Ha!

While Tesla's busy making robotaxis that can't tell the difference between a stop sign and a donut shop Waymo's over there racking up millions of paid trips. Guess who's got the last laugh now? It's like when Lisa outsmarted me with that science project – painful but kinda impressive. You think China will start selling some to the good ol' USA? Only time will tell!

Don't Have a Cow Just Watch the Robotaxi Rodeo!

So what's the takeaway? Tesla's robotaxis are a bit of a joke Elon's promises are about as reliable as Moe's love advice and the NHTSA's probably sharpening their pencils for a serious investigation. But hey at least it's entertaining! Grab some popcorn sit back and watch the robotaxi rodeo. Just try not to get run over!