Eat My Shorts, Market! Nvidia Insiders Cash Out Big Time!

Nvidia's Big Cheese Dumps a Billion Bucks!

Ay caramba! Word on the street is that the big shots at Nvidia you know the guys swimming in AI chips like Scrooge McDuck in gold coins have been dumping their stock like Principal Skinner dumps detention slips. A cool billion dollars' worth in the last year according to some snooty Financial Times report. That's more than I've made selling my soul... I mean artwork... to tourists!

Cashing In While the Market's Hotter Than Milhouse's Mom!

Apparently half of that fire sale happened in the last month alone! The market's been on a sugar rush ignoring all the scary stuff like geopolitical whats its and doohickeys. Nvidia's stock is up like crazy even with all the rules about selling those fancy AI chips overseas. These guys are laughing all the way to the First Bank of Springfield. I wish I had that kind of dough; I'd buy a lifetime supply of Krusty Burgers and a new skateboard... maybe even a pony!

Jensen Huang's Got a 'Sell' Button and He's Not Afraid to Use It!

The head honcho himself Jensen Huang unloaded like fifteen million dollars' worth of shares. Fifteen MILLION! He's got this whole plan to sell up to six million shares by the end of the year. He's already richer than Mr. Burns sitting pretty at number 11 on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index. Must be nice to have enough money to burn... literally!

Robots Are the Future? I Call DIBBS!

Last week Nvidia was struttin' their stuff after their shareholder meeting. Huang was yap yap yapping about how robots are the next big thing after AI. That's right robots are the future. I bet they didn't see me coming when I got my hands on them. That was all me man and it helped them claw their way back to the top of the heap beating out Microsoft and Apple. Eat my shorts tech giants! Now if only I could get one of those robots to do my homework...

VerityData Says: "Show Me the Money!"

Some outfit called VerityData says the stock price jumped over $150 which is why everyone started selling like crazy. Last year Huang sold over $700 million in shares. Prearranged plan they say. Sounds like a fancy way of saying "get rich quick" to me. I bet he even made the plan on a chalkboard.

Nvidia: See No Evil Hear No Evil Speak No Evil

When the Financial Times asked Nvidia what was up they clammed up tighter than Lisa when she's trying to win the science fair. A spokesperson said they had "no comment". Of course they did! They probably didn't want to admit they're all swimming in piles of money while I'm stuck eating cafeteria gruel. I'm telling you I'm gonna get that money somehow some way. Doh!