Boeing Gets Away With It... Again?! Mr. Bean Investigates!

What's All This Fuss About Flying Machines?

Right then. I was happily painting my flat (with a small brush naturally) when I overheard on the telly something about 'Boeing' and 'crashes'. Crashes? Like when I tried to drive my Mini into that skip? Oh the indignity! Apparently these Boeing people made some... flying machines... that didn't quite go according to plan. And now the Justice Department (sounds important doesn't it?) is letting them off the hook! It's like when I accidentally swapped the sugar and salt – a simple mistake really – but no one wants a salty cup of tea do they?

A Fine Mess (And a Fine Fine)

So these Boeing chaps instead of a proper telling off (maybe a stern talking to by Mrs. Wicket?) they just have to pay some money. A lot of money mind you. More than I've ever seen even after selling my prized collection of buttons. They call it a 'fine' but it sounds more like a 'please don't do it again' fee. And they're even getting credit for money they already paid! It's like when I tried to pay for my petrol with Monopoly money – almost worked actually.

Teddy's Taking Notes (Just in Case)

This whole thing is a bit like trying to understand the instructions for a new gadget. You look at the diagrams you turn the pages and you're still left scratching your head. These planes... they had a 'flight control system' that apparently wasn't quite up to snuff. And some people at Boeing... well they weren't entirely forthcoming about it. Teddy's been awfully quiet ever since he heard about this. I think he's worried about our next adventure involving aeroplanes. Perhaps a nice safe bus trip is in order?

Profits Over People? Oh Dear!

Apparently some people think Boeing cared more about money than about making sure their flying machines were safe. Now I like money as much as the next fellow (especially when it comes to buying beans) but even I know that people are more important! It's like when I had to choose between buying a new TV or feeding Teddy. Teddy won of course. He's far better company even if he does have a tendency to 'borrow' my socks.

Slap on the Wrist? More Like a Tickle!

The families of the people who… well who aren't here anymore because of these crashes… they're not happy. And I can't say I blame them. They wanted proper accountability a trial even. But instead they got a settlement. A 'sweetheart deal' they called it. It's like when I accidentally glued my head to the chair. A bit of a sticky situation but hardly a crime worthy of... well anything really. 'Consider yourself told off' I said to myself. "You know what they say 'if at first you don't succeed try try again'"!" said Teddy. But in this context? Teddy is awfully wise sometimes.

Mr. Bean's Aviation Safety Tips (Probably Best Ignored)

So what have we learned from all this? Well flying is a bit more complicated than I thought. And it's probably best to make sure your flying machines are you know actually safe. And maybe just maybe don't try to 'jedi mind trick' the people who are supposed to be checking these things. Unless of course you're trying to get away with putting extra salt in someone's tea. Then all bets are off! "Oh dear" said Teddy with a solemn face.