Aw, Phooey! United Airlines Ditching Newark Flights Like Scrooge McDuck Ditching a Dime!

What in the Wide Wide World of Walt Disney?!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! This is your pal Donald Duck quacking live from the scene of… well chaos! Seems like United Airlines is pulling a fast one canceling a whopping 35 roundtrip flights a day from Newark Airport. Thirty five! That's more than I lose to Gladstone Gander in a single afternoon! According to that Scott Kirby fella the big cheese at United it's all because of air traffic controller shortages and the FAA's… *ahem*… 'technical difficulties.' Sounds like a real 'fowl' up to me! HA! Get it? Fowl?

Ten Percent? That's More Than My Share of Daisy's Pies!

Get this folks. These flight cuts amount to about 10% of United's daily schedule at Newark. Ten percent! That’s practically my whole allowance gone! And it's causing more delays than trying to understand Goofy's directions! Flights in and out of Newark have been delayed longer than I've waited for Daisy to return my calls. And believe me that's a LONG time!

No Other Choice? Says Who?!

Kirby said there's 'no other choice' but to make these cuts to protect customers. No other choice? Phooey! Sounds like someone needs a good hard THINK! Maybe they should try hiring some of those nephews of mine. Huey Dewey and Louie might cause a little trouble but at least things would be interesting! And they work for practically peanuts! Literally they'll eat anything...

Twenty Percent Walked Off? Where's the Fire?

Apparently 20% of air traffic controllers in Newark 'walked off the job.' Twenty percent! Was there a fire? Did they spot Pete? What gives? Kirby's blaming chronic understaffing and says Newark can't handle the scheduled flights without 'em. Well why didn't someone say so sooner? I could've told them! Newark's always been a bit of a… quack up! (Another fowl pun! I'm on a roll!)

FAA Fix it! Or Uncle Scrooge Will Have a Word!

Kirby's been flapping his wings at the FAA urging them to control capacity at Newark like they do at LaGuardia and Reagan National. He even had a chat with some big shot named Sean Duffy. If things don't improve maybe Uncle Scrooge should have a word with them. He knows how to 'motivate' people. (Mostly with money of course!)

Free Changes? That's Mighty Generous... For Them!

United is waving change fees for those affected. Oh goody goody goody! That's real generous of them isn't it? After they mess up everyone's travel plans! Well at least they're doing SOMETHING. Maybe I'll fly United next time… NOT! I'd rather take my chances with Launchpad McQuack. At least then I know I'm in for a WILD ride!