Cowabunga Dude Japan's Ski Slopes Are Going Totally Bonkers!

Eat My Snow Shorts!

Hey man Bart Simpson here reporting live from… well not Japan 'cause Principal Skinner would totally flip if I skipped school again. But get this Japan's ski slopes are like totally tubular! Apparently a whole lotta tourists are ditching spring cherry blossoms and autumn leaves to carve some serious powder. We're talking a 33% jump in foreign ski bums since before the 'rona hit! Ay caramba!

Niseko and Hakuba Dude!

Word on the street is places like Niseko and Hakuba are hotter than a Krusty Burger deep fryer. Visa (not my dad's the credit card company) says these places saw a record number of international shredders last winter. Australians are leading the charge followed by Americans and some dudes from Southeast Asia. Talk about a global invasion of the ski slopes! I bet they all think they're as cool as Radioactive Man.

Cha Ching! Money Money Money!

These ski tourists are dropping more dough than Mr. Burns at a Springfield picnic. Apparently they're spending three times more than the local skiers. Probably buying all those fancy ramen bowls and heated toilet seats. Meanwhile the old school Japanese ski towns are crying in their miso soup because nobody's visiting them anymore. It's like when Milhouse tries to be cool – epic fail!

Doh! Local Slopes Get the Cold Shoulder

The old Japanese ski scene is melting faster than an ice cream cone in July. Back in the early 90s everyone was skiing but now the younger crowd is too busy playing video games or watching TikTok or whatever. The number of skiers has plummeted and tons of ski resorts have closed down. It's like Springfield Elementary – always losing funding and falling apart. Sad but true!

Luxury Resorts Man!

Some snowboarder dude named Harvey Glick (sounds like a nerd) says these foreign skiers are all about the luxury life. Fancy resorts English speaking staff and slopes that are smoother than Sideshow Bob's schemes. It's turning Japan into a Swiss ski resort wannabe he says. Even Singaporeans are getting in on the action booking family trips to Club Med and talking about how awesome it is! "Excellent!"

Giant Lines and Empty Slopes?

But hold your horses! Some people are complaining about the crowds and high prices in Niseko and Hakuba. One guy on Reddit (who actually uses Reddit?) whined about pushing through giant lines like it was the Black Friday sale at the Try N Save. But another dude pointed out that there are like 500 other ski resorts in Japan that are practically empty. So if you're looking for some peace and quiet maybe skip the tourist traps and explore the backwoods. And remember "I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?"